Thursday, December 3, 2009

Wild Impulses

 When I first separated from my now x husband I was tested in many ways. The largest test was for me ... would I shrink back. Would I go against what I knew was not for my or my daughters' highest good. Would I return to what was no longer me. Or would I find the courage to peel off the layers and have the courage to create the new.

Alone I spent 3 weeks in a cottage in northern Saskatchewan (a return to my roots:) It was amazing. Every night I watched the northern lights swirl and paint spectacular colors across the sky while they talked to me through whispers and song leaving me wrapped in arms of heavenly protection.

 It was a very powerfully transforming time. One night I had a very powerful dream that awoke me in the middle of the night. Writing down what the dream told me, then waking up 7 hours later and reviewing what I wrote was an epiphany. 

I now knew the message was a gift and that I was to share it with others but first, I had to search deep to come to discover it within my own uniqueness. I knew that it would be turned into a series and workshop,  it would not not get done.

In his “Ode: Intimations of Immortality,” Words worth writes about shades of the prison-house” that begin to close. As children, “trailing clouds of glory,” we “behold the light,” but gradually we lose sight of its radiance. Then comes a time when the only light we behold is that of “common day,” and we feel cut adrift. No longer a carefree child, we begin to hold ourselves in check, censoring those wild impulses toward creativity. Sooner or later, this shift occurs in each of us, thrusting us upon a lifetime journey of discovering and expressing creative self.

The life that urges us to create, however, can never be concealed or shut away forever. Ever present, it simply awaits our recognition and expression. It is our very  nature and being. The deep envelops us, rises within us. And so, I made a vow to again surrender and allow myself to be use as a vehicle of expression for this message that needed to be created and delivered.

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