Sunday, February 28, 2010

Becoming a Motherless Daughter

The loss of the daughter to the mother, the mother to the daughter, is the essential female tragedy.
                                                                                               -Adrienne Rich, Of Woman Born

Tonight Joannie Rochelle carries the Canadian Flag at the closing of the 2010 Olympic ceremonies.As one door closes another opens. As the celebration in the pursuit of excellence ends a celebration of a life well lived begins. After the cheers from the crowd, the celebration with her team mates, coaches, family Joannie will begin to hear a silence she has never heard before.

Mourning works like any series of cycles: one ends and a new one begins, slightly different than it's predecessor, but with the same fundamental course. A daughter who loses a mother does pass through stages of denial, anger, confusion, and reorientation, but these responses repeat and circle back on themselves as each new developmental task reawakens her need for the parent.

When I was 14 I lost my mom to a stroke. In the midst of the initial shock and numbness, I did not grieve -  for me this was best way I could grieve. But four years later at my graduation and shortly after as I stood on the 50 yard dash line as a Miss Saskatchewan Roughrider contestant I found myself suddenly deeply missing my mother. Years after this I was struck with deeply painful mourning after the birth of my own precious daughter.

At each milestone I came up and I know Joannie will also come up against new challenges that we as motherless daughter's are frightened to face without a mother's support, but when we reach out our mom is not there. The old feelings of loss and abandonment return and the cycle begins again.

Tonight Joannie Rochelle carries the Canadian flag for the closing of the 2010 Olympics. Tonight one door closes for Joannie and another opens.Without a doubt Joannie is being transformed. Job well done Joannie and life's work well done Therese' ... may you rest in peace.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Reconnecting to the Zone

Prior to this major event my MOM died. I was 14. My mom was 41.

My years as a teenager left me wondering if in any way my mom's death created a shift in my identity.It was on the night of that actual performance my quest began.  Was there any connection to why for so long I could not connect into the Zone. 

After many years of studying the mind/body connection in 1995 I found the answer and reconnected to the ZONE. 

 Last night I wanted more than anything to be able to watch Joannie skate. However, I was on board a flight with malfunctioning TV screens. Nothing by coincidence. Throughout the flight I kept sending her love and empowering thoughts of strength and encouragement.  Late last night I got to watch the replay brilliantly covered by CTV in Canada.Watching her skate I could feel her mothers' presence, guiding her, their connection lending Joannie the strength to jump, to spin, to complete what they as a team had started so many years ago.

My heart aches  knowing what she has yet to go through by now being a motherless daughter but I also know that this is part of her personal journey.

During her short program Joannie was able to stay in the Zone. All her logical levels lined up. On Thursday evening Joannie was once again able to enter the Zone, her identity not shifting and  we all get to experience the true meaning of Owning the Zone 

Next: Becoming a Motherless Daughter 

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Curtain Call

I literally controlled the ice that night. Jumping with uncanny ease, I seemed to jump to heights never reached before and with full turns of 3 rotations. I made the jumps that were destined for the late - night sports highlight reel. It was the Olympic figure skating championships and I was to bring home the gold for our team and our country, no one could take our team to victory but me. As I skated to the curtain I felt as though the world was watching. I would place my name in ice rink greatness. I felt as though I touched the “ Zone”… no that’s wrong…I owned the “ZONE”.

 It was short lived to be sure. My first blade stroke  past the curtain and the sound of my name being announced would label “ my victory” as merely a fluke, a slight brush with greatness. Desperately trying to recount the days routine, what did I eat?…how much sleep did I get the night before?…what was I wearing?…seemingly nothing would return me to that place and time, on a night I was capable of feats mere mortals could only watch and witness.

Since that day I can remember a handful of occasion where the feeling returned, be it ever so brief and rare. Not all were sports related. It appeared to be non selective occurring maybe at a business presentation, community function, or at a time of crisis. The feeling of complete comprehension, and total control of my destiny and surroundings…a focus or drive unmatched by those around me. It’s a resource that I can’t seem to tap at will. Is it always within me?…do I somehow trigger it’s surfacing by an event or an emotion? Is it mental, physical, or perhaps genetic?
 All I know is that I want it BACK!

 I know it exists…I must learn about it…study its nature…find out if I CAN APPLY IT TO EVERY DAY EXPERIENCES…my return to …  “THE ZONE"
Turning a Wound into a Gift

Monday, February 15, 2010

Little Ice Skater - Hungry for MORE

It was a skating rehearsal at a rink on the outskirts of our town.. A skating club for anyone who could lace up skates, stand up or was a wanna be Peggy Fleming. I was 6 years old and every morning I would walk alone under the dark not yet morning prairie sky to step into the place that was really my home - the ice rink ... Every day I would skip supper in favor of my tights, gloves and my Wilson blades. Crowds? Sure they were there, mostly Mothers, friends, fellow hockey companions waiting for ice time, they would line up behind the appropriate glass or sit on wooden benches.. My fellow skaters looked just like me , hungry for one more jump that completed with full rotation, one more spin that didn’t make you throw up after eating those “these aren’t moms’ fries” and the teenage desire for Mr. Perfect to be waiting to walk you home through the -40 + winter crystal clear night. At any given time we all had dreams of being overlooked by the Ice Capades…boy!…what could have been.
Talent wise I was pretty “Shirley average”, strong on desire, short on power for lift off in jumps. With a jumping average of not always completing full rotations I was no threat to the opposing skaters that fought hard for fully rotated landing rights. This would be like other winters get ready for the show rehearsal nights for me … or was it?

During warm up I remember a strange feeling coming over me … unexplainable in words a euphoria like I had never felt before. Everything around me seemed so clear. It was like I was listening to every conversation but could hear nothing. From that moment on I felt as though I knew what was about to happen…

next  ... “CURTAIN CALL”

Friday, February 12, 2010

The Future of Sport

The Future of Sport

         I begin by taking my audience on a journey to the ancient world where athletic contests were offerings to the gods – and in some cases, notably the Mayas, it was the athletes themselves who were the offerings!  Sport was more than entertainment, an afternoon at the ball game, it was an individual and group religious experience.  Sport had divine purpose whether as a rite to win celestial favor, to placate an angry deity, or to honor departed heroes.

          Michael Novak, author of The Joy of Sports, insists this purpose still exists today:  “...sports flow outward from a deep natural impulse that is radically religious:  an impulse of freedom, respect for ritual limits, a zest for symbolic meaning, and a longing for perfection.”

          Furthermore, Novak and others argue this function of sport is eternal whether we acknowledge this or not.  Writes Andrew Cooper, “Sports satisfy our deep hunger to connect with a realm of mythic see the transpersonal forces that work within and upon human nature enacted in dramatic form, and to experience the social cohesion that these forms make possible.  Whether or not we so name them, these are religious functions.”

          Sport’s spiritual function works on both the level of the athlete and the audience; in fact, each is often dependent on the other.  A winning performance by an athlete can stir a crowd into exhilaration, and they, in turn, can compel an athlete to new heights.  A few years ago B.C. Lions ad campaign “Cheering works” alludes to the popular notion of “home team advantage” whereby athletes are inspired by positive audience reaction and collective enthusiasm.  Perhaps it’s not an accident, then, that the word “enthusiasm” comes from the Greek, meaning “to be inspired or possessed by a god.”

          This religious aspect of sport, however, has once again been sublimated by a secular culture:  “Our society so thoroughly secularizes sport that we can barely recognize, let alone express, what it makes us feel,” laments Cooper.  Recognition of the sacred has been reduced to popular idioms such as “team worship,” “sports icon” and, yes, “The Zone.” Welcome 2010 OLYMPIC ATHLETES ...let the GAMES begin


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Energy Vampires not only affects Athletes

Stay focused.Keep your eye on the prize. You do not have to be an athlete to have a dream. You only have to  know your dream.  Athletes are not the only ones to be affected by Energy Vampires.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Vancouver Whitecaps Showcase

I am proud of the five Soccer Quest girl players from Nelson BC., who were selected to be in the Vancouver Whitecaps showcase March 6-8 in Vancouver BC Canada. Feels wonderful to have trained these girls in Becoming Masters through my Inner-Fitness program read article.  Much more to come for these young ladies.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Becoming Undependent and regaining Self Esteem

Becoming Undependent and regaining Self Esteem

The key to healthy relationships is that neither person be permanently dependent on the other. The goal of healthy parenting is to raise children who eventually are no longer dependent on their parents. And the key to high self-esteem is to not be dependent on another person, thing, substance, or chemical for our well - being, because whatever or whomever we are dependent on is also our master.

High self - esteem comes with freedom and independence, not with dependence.

If we are dependent on another person financially we are constrained in making decisions about how to spend money. If we are dependent on another person emotionally, thoughts about that person crowd out all thoughts of ourselves and keep us from making plans and taking action for ourselves, and every action is guided by whether that other person would be pleased or displeased. Emotional dependency is not love, it is need. It becomes addictive, it strangles people emotionally, and it destroys relationships, as well as our self-esteem.

Self-esteem is that wonderful, nebulous quality that everyone wants and needs, and without which no one can function at his or her highest and best potential. Self-esteem has been described as a combination of self-respect, self-confidence, and a feeling of self worth. When you have high self-esteem you are glad that you are you, and you feel that you matter - that the world is a better place just because you are here.

If self-esteem is low, the deficiency creates a feeling of emptiness which some people try to fill with alcohol, drugs, food, excessive sex, gambling, destructive relationships, and other forms of addiction. But the emptiness can never be filled up in such ways.