Friday, April 20, 2012

Are You A Disappearing Woman

Are You A Disappearing Woman?

I got married right after college. I never lived on my own.  I had no idea who I was. I knew that I wanted a career. I wanted a family. I wanted it all.

Well, the family came quickly and I had two children, but then I began to feel very unfulfilled. I loved being a mom, but knew that I needed more in my life in terms of my “own thing”. I was lost and unfortunately, because I lost myself in this marriage, I ended up divorcing my husband.

I can’t be too hard on myself. After all, I saw my mom give up much of her identity in her marriage to my father. She was my role model. She built her life around him, his family, his friends and it worked fairly well. I think they had a good enough marriage, but I wanted more in my life and I had no idea where to begin to find myself.

author, Vicki Larsen speaks about this.  She quotes Psychoanalyst Beverly Engel, author of Loving Him Without Losing Yourself, who calls this the Disappearing Woman -- what happens when women lose track of what they believe in, what they stand for, what's important to them and what makes them happy just because they happen to be in a relationship.

"No matter how successful, assertive, or powerful some women are, the moment they become involved with a man they begin to give up part of themselves -- their social life, their time alone, their spiritual practice, their beliefs and values," Engel writes. "In time, these women find they have merged their lives with their partners' to the point where they have no life to go back to when and if the relationship ends."

Why can’t we stay true to ourselves in a relationship? Engel says that we want to be nice because we’ve learned that being nice is important in order to sustain a relationship.

"She'll pretend to agree when she doesn't really agree, she'll go along with things she doesn't really believe in, and if she does that long enough, she'll no longer know what she feels," Engel says.

Author Larsen says
"How many women do you know who will break plans or give up a favorite activity for a guy? Not that it's not OK to do that from time to time or for certain situations; it's just that somehow in the togetherness of coupledom too many of us forget to have a life of our own. Instead, we look to our partner to fulfill all our needs -- and get frustrated and resentful when he doesn't. Then we see the problem as something wrong with him, and not us."

What are your thoughts? Are we just fulfilling the nice girl syndrome or is it that we don’t have a clear picture of our identity and core essence as a woman outside of a relationship?

To Your Success!
Bonnie Marcus

Monday, January 16, 2012

Top Ten Most Influential Women in Sport

What qualifies a woman as influential in the sports world? Is it her athletic ability, verbal skills, looks or her ability to lead into new frontiers? Does influence require years of training, bold new ideas or both? Below you will find our opinion of the top ten most influential women in sports.

Women in Sports Media

Women in SportsChristine Brennan

Brennan is a best-selling author, renowned columnist and commentator. She was the first female sports reporter for the Miami Herald before another first as the first woman to cover the Washington Redskins. Her figure skating book, Inside Edge, was named one of the top 100 sports books of all-time by Sports Illustrated. Brennan also broke the story of the pairs figure skating scandal at the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics.

Women in SportsLinda Cohn

Almost 20 years into a TV sports reporting career, Cohn excels at versatility. Whether it’s baseball, basketball, hockey, racing or golf, Cohn covers the sport with ease. In 1987, Cohn became the first full-time female sports anchor on a national radio network (ABC.) She is the author of Cohn-Head: A No-Holds-Barred Account of Breaking Into the Boys’ Club. Cohn’s Twitter profile exhorts her followers to “Go after dreams.” It’s not uncommon for Cohn to make a fan’s dream with a retweet or mention.

Women in SportsLaura Gentile

Gentile is vice president of espnW. As a collegian, Gentile led Duke to their first-ever appearance in the NCAA Tournament and was named to the ACC’s 50th Anniversary field hockey team.

Women in SportsJemele Hill

Hill is an ESPN columnist and TV analyst with previous stints at the Detroit Free Press and the Orlando Sentinel. Her Twitter profile reads: “I average 36 tweets a day. This makes me awesome.” Well, then.

Women in SportsGeorgie Thompson

Thompson is Sky Sports presenter and A League of Their Own panelist. She has better than 378K Twitter followers and is on the first page of leading Twitter directory, Twellow.

Influential Sports Executives

Women in SportsJeanie Buss

Buss is the Executive Vice President of one of the world’s most popular franchises, the Los Angeles Lakers. In 2010, she authored “Laker Girl.”

Women in SportsWendy Lewis

Women in Sports & Events awarded Lewis with one of its three Woman of the Year Awards in 2011. Lewis is Major League Baseball’s senior vice president of diversity and strategic alliances. She explained some of her job responsibilities to espnW:It’s more than just having more representation of a particular race or women, but making sure that we are working more toward achieving sort of the ultimate balance. We are doing that by taking a real, very strategic and very micro look at each one of those establishments and the pipeline of folks that they actually have coming in…”

Women in SportsCirce Wallace

Wallace followed a pro snowboarding career by representing similar stars at the Wasserman athletic management group, where she is a senior vice president. Wallace was also the force behind action sports shows on MTV and BET.

Pioneers for Women in Sports

Women in SportsBillie Jean King

King received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor, in 2009. She captured a record 20 titles at Wimbledon. Her Battle of the Sexes in 1973 against Bobby Riggs was a catalyst for the women’s movement. King is the Founder and Honorary Chair of the Women’s Sports Foundation.

Women in SportsPat Summitt

Summitt’s career has spanned almost four decades. Summitt’s Tennessee Lady Vols have made 30 consecutive NCAA Tournament appearances. She was named Naismith Coach of the Century. Her teams have a 100 percent graduation rate for all Lady Vols who have completed their eligibility at Tennessee. She earned a spot among “America’s Best Leaders for 2007″ published by U.S. News & World Report.
Don’t miss following women these, either! Lisa Andersen, Aimee Mullins, Amanda Rykoff, Annika Sorenstam, Sarah Spain, Dara Torres, Venus Williams
Whether the ladies are seasoned professionals or relative newcomers in the sports business, the industry’s future looks bright, thanks to them and other leading ladies.

Sam Miller