Saturday, December 5, 2009

Expose yourself

You never have to prove yourself ... all you need is to expose yourself. Truer words never spoken.In light of the recent activities and unfolding of Tiger Woods life I feel compelled to speak from my my truth, through the work I do with peak performers and athletes.

 All of us start with this inner conflict between the power drive and our inner nature. We all have a percentage of it. The stronger the personality, the more conflict there is between the love and power side of our nature. All that we do that is right and helpful for others, the whole foundation of a satisfying relation to your family, your wife, your husband, your friends, comes from the love side of your nature. But a determination to be dominant over others, to rule them, to decide how they shall live, is on the power side of self - deification. And until that is surrendered the protection of calm is denied to us.

It is in my personal opinion that what has happened and is happening to and in Tigers world has been coming for quite some time. He was raised by a very strong and powerful man with a military background. There may have never been much space for anything other than perfection. He seemed to always have to prove himself.  Perhaps, he could never just be who he really is.

When Tiger's father became unwell very few people knew this truth. There was a bit of disturbance in Tiger's performance. It was not always easy for him to get into the Zone. His values were shifting. In the work I do with athletes, assisting them in to the Zone, if there are any of the logical levels not aligned this cannot be attained. There are 7 steps into the Zone and if there is any conflict or any incongruence you cannot reach that ultimate state.

During Tigers fathers unwellness Tiger's values had to be shifting. How could they not? This was a man for good or bad whom he adored.Then came the passing of his father. Major shift. In some ways there would have to be moments of surrender and release. Tiger no longer had the pressure to perform up to his father's expectations but at the same time he had to learn to surrender to being his own person rather than who he had been raised to be BUT who was he? For the first time he may have faced this.

For a very short time the space may have been filled with his concern for his mother, his first child, the return to not only being in but Owning the Zone, pressure from media, sponsors, fans and if that were not enough then to learn of a second child coming may have pushed him into having to prove himself and be approved of in another way.

In speaking with male friends they tell me that when they have one child in their life they do not feel too left out but when another comes along shortly after the first they feel abandoned. There seems to be a need for a 3-4 year gap between the children. If not, the man may feel left out. It does not matter that a woman can afford a nanny, botox, liposuction, the best of the best. The man still feels left out.Call it being human.

The great poem of struggle of Prometheus and Epimetheus presents the temptation of the power side of human nature. It speaks of the inner urge we have toward spiritual expansion, and the constant conflicts our egos present in the desire to dominate the lives of others. Richard Strauss has put it into music and so has Listz in Les Preludes and so has Jan Arden in Insensitive

It is the basis of Greek tragedies, the spiritual center of Dante’s Divine Comedy. In his visit to Heaven and Hell, in the poem, Dante presents the two sides of human nature - the superconscious and the subconscious.

This is how I assist performers and athletes. In making the unconscious conscious. It is removing the psychological idea you carry about you. The beliefs that are not yours but rather the ones you have been subjected to by others. Those beliefs do not fit you but rather they are your ball and chain. I assist people in releasing that ball and chain so for the first time they have access to their own beliefs.In accessing your own beliefs you can create what is true for you - your truth - not the truth. That is true release.

In order to release some of this pressure he may have rebelled against all he suppressed for so many years.

We all have shadows. We all need the light to expose the dark. If we do not know how, then the universal intelligence and wisdom that flows through us will. It is for our best and highest good. It may not feel that way when we are in the eye of the storm but when everything settles it is nothing short of miraculous.

And so, when we have had a long history with someone, or something it is often challenging to release that relationship, perhaps person or position from our lives and yet, if we want something good to come into our life, we have to make a space for it.

Just like you, Tiger and his wife Elin is a valuable person. Tiger, Elin can design and create their own life, and they deserve the best that life has to offer! First, they must make surrender to exposing themselves rather than having to prove themselves and then accept space for it to happen ... Space is being created. How will Tiger fill it? How will his Elin, how will YOU?

No comments:

Post a Comment