Sunday, October 31, 2010

I Am Doing the Best I Can Today

It’s absolutely impossible to be perfect. I think on some level we all know this is true. So I think it’s very interesting that many of us live our lives pursuing perfection.

Think about it. How much of your own life is spent trying to be perfect? How much emotional energy do you invest in perfectionism even though you realize it’s not possible to achieve? And, what affect does all this effort have on your life and career? Do you really think that trying to be perfect helps your career?
Perfectionism can, in fact, have a negative impact on your performance at work. If you are setting unrealistic goals for yourself, you are also more likely to have unrealistic expectations for your staff. You are less likely to be approachable and even like able, and of course, you are always under stress which can filter down to others in the workplace.

Here are some suggestions for addressing your perfectionism:

Acknowledge that this is YOUR stuff.
No one else truly expects you to never make mistakes or be right 100% of the time. We’re not robots after all. (And even robots have technical problems sometimes.)

Be Authentic
When we pretend to be perfect, we are hiding ourselves from others. Take the pressure off yourself to have all the answers all the time. Admitting that you don’t have the answers can often lead to extremely valuable brainstorming sessions at work. Engaging your team and asking for their opinions often helps them to become more invested in the project or mission. They have increased respect and affection for you. After all, how approachable is someone who comes across as a know-it-all?

Be Willing to Make Mistakes
Perfectionists tend to avoid situations where they may fail, but making mistakes is important to our personal and professional development. Think about some of the valuable lessons you have learned from your past mistakes. When you are open to making mistakes, you are open to more challenges and opportunities as well.

Work Hard, but Don’t Drive Yourself Crazy
Be realistic about your goals. Acknowledge when you’ve done the best you can. Sometimes unforeseen circumstances affect your performance, require you to move deadlines. That’s OK. Just do the best you can everyday and recognize when you need to adjust your expectations.

When you rid yourself of the pressure to be perfect, you will not only be more like able, more open to learning new things, but also healthier. The pursuit of perfection is extremely stressful and frustrating.
Try this as your new daily mantra, “I’m doing the best I can do today.”

 Excerpt Bonnie Marcus

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Somewhere I Belong

In January, 2011 I will be facilitating a 10 week yoga intensive workshop comprised of 1 1/2 hr long sessions. The workshop is called Somewhere I Belong. Too many women forget where it is they belong.

Please read what Debbie Ford shares below and how she acknowledges doing just this.In the workshop Somewhere I Belong we will gather your missing pieces and you will discover where it is you belong.

As  women we are actively pursuing ways to live life in balance, and learning to bring our beliefs and values into every aspect of our lives. Changing old habits, and taking self nurturing seriously for the first time, women are reclaiming the unique power of the feminine.Baby boomers are redefining the cultural stereo types of middle age and will leave their indelible stamp on it as they have on every age they have touched.

My course called Somewhere I Belong seeks to speak to your soul: With passion, clarity caring and wisdom my intention is to explore  with you through doing yoga  and to bring out in you as a women to take a leap of faith---to courageously and deliberately seek personal transformation as they move through the various stages of their lives. Women constantly desire to know how to develop deep, juicy spiritual, emotional and physical lives.

I am seeking a cross section of women to participate in this course. After all, who else can best express the richness and heartaches of trying to discover our place in this fast paced, sometimes seemingly out –of- control world. So, now…ask yourself…What would happen if we were to stop the minds’ deadly games that kill the GODDESS in YOU, YOUR best qualities-Loyalty, Ethics, Honesty, Dignity,Grace and Radiance?

Below is an exerpt form Debbie Ford:
I hope this finds you well and thriving. I have to say, I'm always surprised to find out I have violated one of more of my own internal boundaries. After a recent 11-day stint in the hospital, partly caused by over-giving, exhaustion, and saying yes when I should have said no, I find it essential to remind myself and all of you of this important message.

The Exhaustion of People-Pleasing
There is an affliction quietly and insidiously affecting us that crosses all lines of age, gender and race. It began when we were young and learned that in order to fit in with our families we had to ignore our own needs, stay silent, follow along, and give away our power. As adults this syndrome continues to rob us of our ability to ask directly for what we need and want and drives us to violate ourselves and our own integrity. When we're in its grips, we contort ourselves to fit in, to belong, and to ensure our status as a "good person". In a moment of desperation and powerlessness, we forsake ourselves in order to avoid confrontation and the mere possibility of rejection.

This is the disease of trying to be liked, being nice, seeking acceptance, and trying to please others as a strategy - as a way to feel safe in the world and worthy in our own skin. What is even more important to recognize is that seeking the approval of others is a way to avoid how deeply we disapprove of ourselves. The feared rejection of another is actually an outward reflection of how we have already rejected certain aspects of ourselves.

In all of the books I write, the talks I give and the trainings I lead, I encourage people to acknowledge the cost of their limiting beliefs and behaviors. When it comes to people-pleasing, the cost is so pervasive and damaging that I want to draw special attention to it this week. The moment we try to please another and abandon our own truth for theirs, we essentially hand our power to them, violate our own integrity, cut ourselves off from our inner wisdom, and - at least for a while - disconnect from our ability to love and nurture ourselves. [I know this so well, because I've done it a million times!] We may do this with our children, spouses, employers, friends and society at large. When being a "good girl" or a "good boy" becomes a way of life, we can be sure that exhaustion will accumulate, resentments will build, desperation and neediness will increase, and we'll travel deeper into the land of victim consciousness.

Transformational Action Steps
This week, look to see how you might engage in people-pleasing and contemplate what the cost is in your own life, especially in the area of your self-respect...all the while keeping in mind that transformation begins when you tell yourself the truth.
Take a moment to sit quietly, take a slow deep breath, and check in with yourself. Think of a relationship or situation in your life that is particularly challenging for you right now, and ask yourself the following Right Question as it applies to this situation:

Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?

Take a few minutes to jot down whatever arises. For greater clarity on how people-pleasing may be undermining you in this situation, utilize the following additional questions:

How am I giving up my power to this person or situation?
What am I afraid of losing?
What would I need to know in order to have the courage to be straight with this person or in this situation?
Disappoint somebody this week. Give yourself the gift of saying "no" when you mean it this week.
As you practice being completely straight with yourself, notice the miracles unfolding in your communications with those around you.

With love and blessings,
Debbie Ford

Friday, October 15, 2010

Last couple of weeks

In the last couple of weeks there have been many wonderful changes and challenges in my life. The outcomes have been nothing short of miraculous. Traveling and more traveling meetings and more meetings. I love traveling. I love exploring and discovering. I also love the art and science of being human. 

2 weeks ago I became a representative for  sportsDrive in Canada.  SPORTS DRIVE is a provider of scientifically based assessments that predict athletic performance in all types of athletes across all types of sports. sportsDrive provides valuable insights into athletic strengths and challenges. Additionally, sportsDrive provides detailed feedback on areas that need improvement.

It is proven that physical abilities simply aren’t enough to reach the top level of professional sports. By taking the time to complete the assessment, athletes take the first step to understanding the inner forces that drive athletic success.

sportsDrive is the only site on the Web geared towards athletic development that assesses 16 dimensions scientifically proven by scientists in sports psychology and sports related psychological assessments to predict athletic performance and help individual athletes, as well as teams, improve overall performance. 16 Key Athletic Dimensions Science and Sports.

I an honored to be part of this family of scientists, psychologists,

entrepreneurs. I will go into more detail about sportsDrive in my next blog.

For now I want to wish each and everyone of you a wonderful evening. 

Be well. 

Dancing with life and Creating Champions