Sunday, May 30, 2010

Breaking the Trance of Projection

Exerpted from Debbie Ford's new blog ... thanks Debbie for this powerful explanation.
How to Stop Projecting When You're Projecting

It's so easy in the midst of knowing so much information, so many psychological terms and so much spiritual wisdom to actually believe that you are saved from doing the very things that you don't want to do. Projection, which is the basis of all of our relationships, is the most difficult trance to break. For example, I hear all the time, "She's so demanding...", "It's all his mother issues...", "If she hadn't embarrassed me...", or "If he wasn't so stubborn..." or "They're so _______" You get to fill in the blank. When we're projecting on those we like and those we dislike, we're giving away our power and our ability to stand in our highest truth.

Since projection is a natural phenomenon, a defense mechanism of our ego state, it's so easy to point out other people's projections and so difficult to snap out of our own. Why is this? Because when we are projecting, we actually believe that what we are seeing is the truth about another person. We actually believe that we are different from them and incapable of their behavior. Now remember, like the philosopher and psychologist Ken Wilber tells us, if a person or thing in our environment informs us, if we receive what is happening as information, a point of interest, we probably aren't projecting. On the other hand, if it affects us, if we're pointing our fingers and judging, if we're "plugged in", chances are that we are a victim of our own projections.

When we fail to have compassion for somebody's behavior, it is because we are rejecting and disliking ourselves when we are doing something similar. We can't heal ourselves and heal our relationships until we really study, understand and own up to our projections. We can't keep working on ourselves thinking that we are the enlightened ones and they are the ones that are stuck and need fixing because in doing so, we have fallen prey to the very thing that we are projecting on to another.

I know that this can often seem mind-twisting. How can I be projecting? How can this be my stuff and not theirs? But whether you're projecting your angry self, your arrogant self, your know-it-all self, your judgmental self, your stupid self, your boring self, or your better-than self, these are all parts of you that need love too, parts that need you to own and embrace them and that need you to open your heart to them. And when you do, you will open your heart to all those that you've been projecting on. In that very sacred moment, you will break free from the trance of your unexamined life and breakthrough to the power of your authentic nature.

Your Weekly Shadow Work

(1) Who are you projecting on? Write down one person in your life you are judging harshly.

(2) What are the things that you tell yourself about them? What is the quality in them you most judge. Write it down.

(3) Identify how you display that quality, even if it is in a completely different way. If you can't see how you display that quality now, allow yourself to see how you could display it in the future, the circumstances that could bring rise to that quality.

(4) Once you realize that you are capable of displaying the quality that you see in the person you've been judging, notice if your heart softens and if the judgmental voice in your mind quiets as you wake up from the trance of projection. 

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Sex, Immortality and the Future of Women

Sex, Immortality, and the Future of Women

An interview with Barbara Marx Hubbard
by Jessica Roemischer

Barbara Marx Hubbard
Bio ; resources

Is sex evolving? Barbara Marx Hubbard, the grand dame of the “conscious evolution” movement, emphatically states, “Yes!” As an author, a futurist, and the president of the Foundation for Conscious Evolution, Hubbard has been at the forefront of an emerging worldview positing that humans are at the threshold of a new phase in the evolutionary process. And this, as she reveals here, has great implications for our favorite pastime.

A wonderfully spry and energetic seventy-five-year-old, Hubbard freely admits to “not being that sexually oriented” and says that sex had never been primary in her relationship with her eighty-one-year-old partner, Sidney. While that would, under most circumstances, consign the sexual dimension of a marriage to the back burner, in Barbara's case, she has characteristically used it as an opportunity to discover a deeper evolutionary significance and possibility. “Wanting to be responsive to Sidney,” she says, “I began to ask myself, 'What is my heart's true desire? If recreational sex is not what motivates me, what would motivate me at the deepest part of my being?'” That question led Hubbard and her partner into a dynamic exploration of the evolutionary significance of sex. And as she explains in the following interview, when two people come together with the conscious intention to evolve, sex becomes a “regenerative” experience that can ignite passion—the passion to become a new expression of man and woman, co-creative partners with the evolutionary process itself.

What Is Enlightenment: Barbara, you have recently been speaking about a new form of sexuality called “co-creational” or “regenerative” sex. Could you begin by describing how co-creational sex is different from procreational and recreational sex?

Barbara Marx Hubbard: In procreative sex, there's a higher purpose, which is to create life. The fact that the woman's body is capable of receiving a fertilized egg and creating another being is mysterious, miraculous, and sacred. That is its most profound purpose, the extraordinary miracle of the biological imperative. So there is a sacred meaning to sexuality, which is to reproduce the entities that are engaging in sex, no matter what those two entities think they're doing! Recreational sex, on the other hand, is for intimacy and pleasure. It's enhancing in many ways, but it doesn't have the higher sacred purpose of procreational sex.

In evolutionary sexuality, or what I call “co-creational sex,” rather than reproducing the couple or engaging in intimacy and sexual pleasure for recreation, the sacredness of the intimacy is compelled by a vision of the couple evolving through their union. In that sense, evolutionary sexuality is comparable in its sacredness to procreational sex. While nature's purpose is to reproduce the species through procreation, in co-creational sex, we are using the sexual impulse to evolve the species for the highest purpose.

WIE: How did you begin to discern a higher evolutionary purpose for sex beyond that of reproduction?

Marx Hubbard: I began to observe a fundamental inequality between men and women in their later years and sought its significance. As we live longer and longer lives, more and more women are entering menopause. They are no longer producing eggs, and yet men continue to produce sperm until they die. So I began to ask myself, “Is there a higher purpose for the sperm, since the man continues to produce so many of them? And if he loves a postmenopausal woman and she has no eggs, is it possible, through intentionality, to unlock a higher purpose within the coding of the sperm? What if the woman desires, above all else, not a new baby, but a new body and a new being—sensitive to spirit, capable of self-healing, self-generating, and self-evolving?”

Currently, males inseminate women to conceive babies, and as men get older, they have recreational sex. But what if the woman's desire brings forth from the male sperm its true fulfillment and noble purpose? What if the male inseminates the woman with the evolving potential inherent in the sperm, triggered by the woman's desire to give birth to her self? What if he is consciously inseminating and co-creating with the woman the new being who is required for the evolution of life on earth? The woman has the biological capacity for self-reproduction through sexuality, and she may also have the capacity for self-evolution through sexuality. Now this exploration is occurring only in the realm of intention and imagination—in the imaginal realm. But men find it very empowering when the woman says, “I feel that the sperm has a higher purpose.” It's very arousing to the man, that's for sure! It really would be shocking if I became the Dr. Ruth of “evolutionary sexuality.”

WIE: If there was demonstrable proof of this, something unprecedented would happen in the elder generation in this country, and in the world. It would definitely start a revolution!

Marx Hubbard: It would! Sexuality is not just a small aspect of life; it is an expression of the life force of evolution. And that life force in the postmenopausal couple has a higher purpose that hasn't been fully experienced yet. The intention, the love, and the intimacy this idea generates in my partner and me is itself vitalizing—even if it hasn't actually changed my DNA. I've projected this forward into the future, imagining that if we really are going to be able to extend our life span to a radical degree, then sexuality would have to assume a higher purpose beyond recreation in order for it to take on the sacred dimension of procreational sex and express the dynamism inherent in the life pulse. We are a self-evolving species now, and consciousness evolution is not only about our psyches and our social action but also about our own bodies. To raise sexuality to the possibility of regeneration and self-evolution is a wonderful exploration.

WIE: You have coined the term “regenopause” to represent this new perspective on the postmenopausal years.

Marx Hubbard: Yes. When I was fifty, I was diagnosed with a form of chronic cancer, and I began to search for the deeper plan of my being. I heard an inner voice that asked, “Would you like to regenerate or would you like to die?” I had no idea I had such a choice! And this inner voice said, “Cancer is the body's panicked effort to grow without a plan; regeneration occurs when you say yes to the deeper plan of your being.” I realized that this deeper plan involved tuning in to the evolutionary process and becoming an embodiment of that. When a woman in her menopausal years is overcome by a profound impulse to co-create and to self-evolve, this signals a next phase in the life cycle of the feminine. I asked for a word that would describe what I was going through in my postmenopausal years—the internal liberation, as well as the desire for co-creation—and the word just flashed: regenopause.

Regenopause happens when the woman gets so turned on to her creativity and her life purpose that it starts to activate her at the cellular level. When an increased spiritual desire to participate in evolution crosses over into the aging process, it sends a signal that says, “We're not finished, folks. We're not ready to go yet. It would be a waste of evolutionary time to die now because look what it took to get us here!”

Our species is being asked to self-evolve, or we will devolve and die. And I think that the regenopausal woman who is activated by this life purpose is, perhaps, the missing link in the story. So many women are entering menopause, so many women are turned on, and our culture is finally open enough to call us forth without trying to destroy us. It's the first time in modern history that we can even begin to see the potential of the “feminine co-creator.” We haven't seen this full-scale woman until now because, in our culture, women haven't been allowed to pursue this except in a very narrow way. So regenopause transforms menopause into a new and open-ended life cycle, which doesn't have an existing lid, or an existing label, or a social image of itself.

WIE: You seem to be observing that women in their later years are awakening to an evolutionary or developmental context for their lives—that they are thinking about what it would mean to evolve and to be free in ways they hadn't even begun to consider when they were younger.

Marx Hubbard: That is exactly right, and I was one of those women. I got married in 1951 at the age of twenty-one, and I was of the generation that Betty Friedan wrote about in The Feminine Mystique. Through interviewing hundreds and hundreds of women, she discovered that we had no self-image after the age of twenty-one, and that that was accompanied by a kind of malaise and sadness. Then in the sixties, we burst out with the women's movement. But I think that there is a third phase to the women's movement in the third millennium, because over the last fifty years, the evolutionary perspective has taken hold. This new phase is about the drive to self-evolve and self-express, which is different from wanting equal rights in the masculine world. It's deeper, and it's motivated by a passionate love of our potential.

WIE: This next step is the most exciting aspect of what you're talking about because it would mean transcending many of the premodern, modern, and postmodern notions of what it means to be a man and a woman. It seems that you're pointing to a natural, unpremeditated, and spontaneous expression of a liberated masculinity and a liberated femininity.

Marx Hubbard: This is the new Adam and the new Eve—whole being with whole being at the Tree of Life. In the story of Genesis, Eve was not only going for the Tree of Knowledge, she was heading for the Tree of Life, which is the tree of the gods. And it seems to me that the human species is heading for the Tree of Life. We have the power to destroy worlds and build worlds, to change our own bodies, and perhaps, eventually, to have ever-evolving life. Now, when the woman has become whole, so that her own masculine and feminine are joined, and the man too has become whole, they can come together beyond domination and submission in such a way that will bring forth the greater potential of each. So we see the couple as a very powerful arena of self-evolution. And when you add sexuality—from procreation to recreation to regeneration—you begin to see the New Man and the New Woman gaining the wisdom to guide the new powers of humanity forward.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Wake UP! Do you know YOUR conscious & Unconscious Beliefs & Beyond Beliefs

I am so grateful that I have come to embrace and understand  BELIEFS and how they make or break our dreams. This BLOG is my THANK YOU to the Masters in NLP whom I have had the priviledge of studying and apprenticing with. Robert Dilts of NLP University and Christina Hall President of NLP Society.
 My life was turned around completely and forever because of NLP. Now, my own work is based in NLP. I will always be grateful for and to NLP and these Master Trainers who create and teach with integrity. This has been passed on to me and I honor this and embrace using these techniques when I work with all my clients.Below is an exerpt from an interview with Robert Dilts for the documentary Beyond Beliefs.

by Robert Dilts, Co-Developer of NLP
Excerpt from interview for the film" Beyond Beliefs

The other thing about NLP it says there are different levels, lets call it programming.  That is, to have a behavior, there is an inner mental map, a cognitive program that sort of guides that behavior.  Behind that cognitive map are beliefs and values which are different than, let’s say, our idea about what we want.  They are more the motivation, the permission, and then behind that is our sense of identity.

So if I say I want something, there is an “I” who wants it, and behind that “I” that’s where you get to that sense of a purpose, of belonging to something that is beyond yourself, that is bigger than yourself.  This is where you get a sense of some kind of deeper vision of purpose.

People who are able to achieve things they want in their life most effectively are people who are aligned in that way:  their identity is aligned with their higher purpose, then their beliefs fit with that identity and that is connected with their capabilities which lead to their behavior.
When you are aligned, when your identity and your beliefs and your capability are aligned, we called that being in the zone.  A lot of NLP is about coaching what you might call the inner game.  Every athlete, every performer knows that you have an outer game, which is what you are doing, what the physical activity is.

And there’s the mental game, which has to do with your mental attitude and your emotional attitude.  So when those things are aligned, the athlete would say you are in the zone and a performer you would say you havepresence. So when you have that sense of confidence, the zone is what we call being in a state of effortless excellence, of flow.

 The idea of neuro-linguistics is you’ve got language and the nervous system.  A positive affirmation is the linguistic part of the belief, but it is not the “neuro” part.  To actually bring in an empowering belief, you are going to be doing more than just saying it in the mind.  That’s the verbal part, the idea of the belief.

 In NLP we say you’ve got to get beyond the idea. to get it in the muscle.  The way you are going to do that is by adding in information from the other senses and also using the body, your physical attitude, you are aligning again the words with your inner images, your memories and your physiology.

 In NLP coaching we do a number of things.  The first is to help people get IN the zone and the second is to find out what gets in the way of being in the zone and how to transform that.  One of the ways that we’re going to coach people to get into the zone, it starts by coming present in the body, to come into the body.  In fact, we say the body is always in the present, to bring the mind and the body into the same place.

Friday, May 7, 2010

How Should We Set Our Goals?

How should we set our goals?”

The first thing to understand is that you are in this situation because of your present state of self. Your beliefs, your personality, your behavior, have made you in this present state of reality. If at all you want to change your situation, you must set a goal to change yourself first; you must change the state of yourself. In changing your belief systems your accepted reality changes, and when this is changed the outer changes automatically. So the fact is that the outer goal is secondary, the inner is the most important thing. If ever you want to change the outer reality or achieve some outer goal, first start with the self. Only then you will know what effortless achievement is.

For a long time effort has been introduced to us by many speakers and psychologists, simply because they believed that in order for the self to change, the outer must change first; some even consider that the self has nothing to do with the outer. This is why they have always emphasized effort and propagated struggle. You must understand, this struggle and hardship is not with the outside, it is because the self (the reality creator) can't be changed.

What I am discussing with you seems to be difficult but actually it is not. Remember, stop wishing and start seeing that which you are, and see that which you are is the same as your reality. Also remember that the self is not fixed, it is changeable. If you dare to go beyond the self and see that it’s not actually you, that you are something transcendental, then almost everything you want is possible, all goals are achieved; not by maddening effort but by spontaneous creation.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

How Can Mastery Help?

“How can Mastery help?”

The first part of Mastery is coming in total contact with that which one is. In seeing yourself for what you are you will begin to realize that even that which you have accepted as yourself is just a creation; your self is just beliefs that you have accepted and the conditioning society has given you. You are something far beyond this self, but this is only for the one who has come to know. Mastery will help you simply because you achieve that which is within your grasp, that which is within the spectrum of the self or the real self. In Mastery, as you shift or change the boundary of yourself you also change the boundary of your reality and your achievement. If you actually believe that you can make a million dollars and it is within your spectrum of realness, then it is done. The fact that I have seen is that when it is within your spectrum of realness the universe supports it. Let me emphasize it again, within your spectrum of your realness, that which makes you, you; it is not pretending to believe, but actually believing it and accepting it as a fact.

In Mastery you learn just how to do this.

 Master Dhyan Vimal

Sunday, May 2, 2010

How Can this Illusion Be Broken?

“How can this illusion be broken?”

First you must come to see that you are wishing; you are functioning from a state of hoping for things to happen. This basic fundamental realization will free you to see that which you are actually capable of. Remember, most of us don't want to see this. I am reminded of a student who wanted to be a top producer and was constantly talking about it until I pointed out to her that this is not what she is actually about; that she is living in hope and creating a false image. When the truth about her and the facts of her life started to come out she became very upset; she even became hostile. Now if you want to keep this false image and go on feeding it and protecting it, remember that you will be in an illusion. Your goals will just be a wish that won't come true.

The secret to come out of this illusion is to see that which you actually are, that which you actually believe you can do, to see yourself totally naked, to accept all the facts about you, and to see the actual beliefs that you carry about yourself. Remember, for many of us this can be an uncomfortable and even painful process because over the years we have created many false images and opinions about ourselves; we have pretended to be something other than what we actually are. We also carry a deep mechanism that prevents us from seeing that which we are.