Sunday, November 29, 2009

Courage to Create

Courage to Create

As young children we finger paint with flamboyant abandon or blithely with color outside the lines with our crayons. We spend time alone watching butterflies or gazing at the stars, sensing our deep connection with the world around us. We give ourselves over to awe and wonder, safe in our innocence.  Creativity comes naturally, spontaneously. We express freely in our delight in being. 

But as we grow older, something happens to expel us from this Eden of playful ease. We begin to discover a separation or departure from our natural innocence. Have you returned to your natural innocence?

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Taking Care of Myself

 Taking Care of Myself 

So how can we energetically shift out of shame into a self-empowered stance that projects worthiness? We have to train ourselves to honor our desire body. Our desire body is the faculty of our emotional body that desires, craves, hungers for and yearns after. Our desire body is our idea generator and attraction mechanism. It cannot work for us if it is suppressed, condemened or judged. In fact, it works against us when we have a negative attitude toward it.

Desire is the basic instinct that propels us to find everything from food to God. Hunger and longing to belong are both desires. From hunger we are motivated to get fed. From longing to belong we learn how to experience and align with the Infinite. When we are attuned to the Infinite, we are really set up to get our needs met. We not only get our survival and physical needs met, we get our emotional and spiritual needs satisfied too. What greater satisfaction than to be at peace and relaxed, feel loved, and to know that the struggle is over.

Now… let’s visit the above from an empowered stance

Our ability to manifest depends on our ability to magnetize
Magnetism radiates from am unconditionally loved desire body
The power of positive projection increases with deep inner satisfaction
Our ability to claim grows in the garden of self-love
Clarity shines in front of the mirror of the soul
Direct connection is nurtured from a humble, yet confident, stance
Owning our responsibility as co-creators allows us to claim what is ours

Monday, November 23, 2009

From Sabotage to Satisfaction

Manifestation is a function of magnetism
Effective magnetism is based on a powerful projection
There is no power of projection from needlessness
There is no ability to claim from shame
There is no clarity in a cloudy self-image.
Thee is no direct connection in an apologetic stance

Saturday, November 21, 2009


A couple of days ago an x reappeared in my life. I had not seen nor heard from him in 8 months. He text messaged me to ask where he might find a late night good place to eat and if I had time to meet. Being as I had a very busy day scheduled for the next day, had already eaten and truth be known knew I had to say no in order to not fall back into something that would end up as nothing. I responded via email and told him the truth. He called. I did not pick up. I went to bed. In the morning I listened to his message. He wished me a good night and mentioned he would call me in the morning or for me to call. I sent another email. It is for the best we do not meet and we did not.
In all honesty to know he was one block away and to not go meet or see him  was very challenging and yet I had to ask "why is saying no so difficult"? 
One day has gone by since he left. No longer did I feel his presence but through the time he was here and though I did not see him, his energy had a strong effect. I wanted to run,  hide, I wanted to pretend he did not exist but then I decided to sit and meditate upon the shadow this presented. 
Today after leaving the gym I entered into a clothing store to look at a beautiful sweater that reminded me of the one that got stolen on my honeymoon with my x husband (sign sign everywhere a sign:)
The sales rep started talking to me. Then she started crying. I asked her what was wrong. She began telling me about a 6 year relationship ending the night before she got married. This was to be her 2nd, his 3rd. She saw signs, so many signs to get out of this abusive relationship long before he called the wedding off yet she stayed.Then she asked:" Colli why is it so difficult to say NO". My reply: "I believe for some of us we really do not know how to say YES to ourself.Maybe we were never taught how important and special we are so we never developed these essential skills. Instead we give ourselves away."
We learn so much about ourselves in our personal relationships. They help us to discover the true self, which is the source of love. We are attracted to those whom we love and repelled by those in whom we are denying in ourselves. At some level we are all the same, whenever we have a positive or negative experience with someone-whenever there is a strong feeling of either being drawn toward someone or of pulling back from someone - we should ask ourselves what is happening? “Why am I attracted to this person? Because they have certain traits.  Or why am I repelled by this other person? Because they have particular traits. How come I am denying these traits in myself? I must have these same traits , otherwise my  feelings wouldn’t be triggered by this person. I wouldn’t feel this charge from them.” 
Simply seeing someone as undesirable is different from being judgmental, angry and outraged. It is when we react to a person that we know we are being presented with valuable information.
So RELATION SHIP is a wonderful tool for the growth of our soul, for learning about ourselves, and for clearing a path to the final stages of love, which are surrender and ecstasy. Every relationship we have is the one that begins just at that right moment in our life, and it is meant to take us to a higher level of awareness,  

Every RELATION SHIP carries us to the next level. 

Friday, November 20, 2009

Trust Thyself

Trust Thyself

It is now that as I look back and I remember taking a philosophy class where we studied Emerson’s Essays that contained in them what this was all about:
 “Trust Thyself: Every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connexion of events. 
Great men have always done so, and confided themselves childlike to the genius of their age, betraying their perception that the Eternal was stirring at their heart, working through their hands, predominating in all their being.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Permission and Attention are the Magical Keys

Permission and Attention are the Magical Keys

Something magical happens when you truly and honestly give yourself permission to feel angry, sad or afraid.
 Practice really letting it be OKAY to feel and get in touch with what happens to the energy in your body.
 Pay attention to the interaction between mental acknowledgment and permission and the stress or agitation in your belly. Notice what happens to your “out of control” desire when you simply give them attention. Permission and attention are basic to self-love tools for cultivating deep emotional peace and satisfaction
Another magical thing happens when you follow this interactive sequence between the mind and body…

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Your INNER - EXPRESSION -the Best Anti-Aging Secret

Do you have Your own innate sense of Your own Inner-Expression.
What is it You are loving? Do you love the divine expression of you? 
Maslow called it Self Actualization.It is not competitive. What are you attracting? What is emerging within yourself? 

Are you the nurturer of yourself? What are you self actualizing and expressing? What is your chosen work which is rewarding yourself and at least one other person. This will bring out your greater self.

The best anti-aging remedy is the realization of your own purpose and so ask yourself "Do I realize my potential? What do I want to EXPRESS? What is MY INNER - EXPRESSION?

Your happiness is from the nurturing of yourself and the giving it out to others. Remember that unhappiness is the push and drive for you to EXPRESS.
Remember you and I are EXPRESSIONS of the larger. Say yes and have faith in the process itself.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Becoming Interdependent and regaining Self Esteem

The word “dependent” MEANS “relying on someone or something else.” The opposite of dependence is, of course, independence. Many people believe that “independent has a negative connotation, i.e., standing alone, completely detached from any other person. For this reason I have used a word probably not found in a dictionary - “ undependent”, which means for the purpose of the work I do and for the series, “ to be free from the control of someone or something else.

The nature of our human race is that we all are interdependent - that is, reciprocal dependency on one another for certain things. But when interdependency becomes unbalanced and one person is doing all the giving and another all the taking it is no longer interdependence, but rather dependence of one person on the other, and when this happens both parties become resentful of each other. 

            There are times in a person’s life when we are legitimately dependent - when we are small children, for example, or when we are ill or in some other way unable to care for ourselves temporary, because permanent dependency is deadly.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Heart's Flow of Love unrestricted

The greatest pain of the feminine is not feeling the flow of love… the pain of not being able to have your heart’s love received or feeling the love is not flowing back to you.
When the heart’s flow of love is unrestricted, the goddess spirit is within you…
In moments of being with your truth are you re-kindling the natural Radiance, Beauty, Divinity, Grace and the Shine of the Goddess within you?

Monday, November 9, 2009

Searching for Pieces

            In the process of living out the years of our lives, there comes a time when we realize that, somehow, we’ve gotten lost along the way. What are we looking for? We are searching for the pieces of ourselves that we’ve lost, for we know that without them it is difficult to experience real moments.

           Some of them were taken away by our parents or caretakers, in an attempt to turn us into what they thought we should be.

Some of them we’ve given away to others in an attempt to be accepted or loved. Some of them we’ve hidden away, frightened of what others might think if they knew our secret selves.  And some of them we’ve simply forgotten about, because we’ve been trying so hard to be something other than whom we really are.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Becoming the Someone YOU want to meet

Becoming the someone YOU want to meet is what this blog unfolds. At some point I became aware of knowing that I knew the answer to the question I had spent my entire life looking for.

Most of us don't consciously choose to think, behave, talk, walk, or eat like our parents. It just happens and sometimes so subtly that we don't even notice the similarities until someone points them out "You're kidding" we respond with disbelief. "But I am different from them" Maybe yes, maybe no. It is how you are the same that's the issue"

Without reclaiming our missing pieces, we will never experience the wholeness we crave and the peace we are searching for. We will find it difficult to have the real moments that we need. How do we return to a state of wholenes? We must pass from the cramped, yet familiar womb of who we have been into the person we are meant to be. 

We must take the journey from our old life of sacrifice and limitations into a new life of authenticity and freedom. We must give birth to ourselves again.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Disturbing our own depth

We, find ourselves try doing more, going to new places, changing the way our bodies look, buying something different, or loving someone new, and perhaps for a while we feel better. But then, the shadow of discontent returns, stronger than ever, and we wonder if something is wrong with us.

What are we searching and looking for? We are searching for the pieces that had been lost or given away in our childhood and without them it was difficult to experience in moments that are real (it is hard to be present if one's needs are not being met:) 

To make up for this we attempted to make our own children's life give them all the love we never knew, wanting to rescue them from hurt and pain, but does it work? Or is it that no matter what are the circumstances we are given we want to carve our own way!

This unique blog will examine this and how other women and men, young women and young men know the more they travel this path, daring to disturb the universe, the more they disturb their own depths and yet do so.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Lost along the way

For awhile in every one's life, we walk as if we belong on this earth, as if we are our own people, as if we trust our own minds. There is no gap between true nature and our ability to express it. What happens to that hum and hunger? How do those eyes become shadowed, suspicious, just a few years later? How do those bodies get rigid and closed? How do all those dreams become crushed under arms that fold tight over chests?

How does a river become layered over that true nature, covering it with limiting beliefs?

We are taught to become proficient at keeping ourselves from learning, and articulate in all the things we that are wrong with them. A groove of awareness of our mistakes is carved into our brains. Thus we are taught to take for granted what we can do, and instead concentrate on our defeat.

In the process of living out the years of our lives, there comes a time when we realize that, somehow, we've gotten lost along the way. We've lost our sense of purpose and direction. We've lost the ability to live by our own values and beliefs(some of us do not even know what they are:(

 We've lost the capacity for uninhibited joy and celebration. We move through each day with buried uneasiness, a silent suspicion that something is not right.

 No matter how hard we search for the source of discomfort, we can find nothing apparently wrong. We may as well be chasing a ghost who will not reveal himself.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Self Reliance

Like Dorthy and her companions on their journey to find the Wizard of Oz, some people including myself were sent and then sent my child off in life hoping they will find their hearts, their minds, their courage, their magic, their way back home. Rather than being nurtured, encouraged, and having our and their natural resources developed, not always have we been or are they in enviornments in which we have been able to or are they able to thrive, respond and change ourselves or our children themselves. Like us our children become convinced they must change the very nature of who they are. Spells are cast that shrivel their belief in their own minds.

It's a tragedy, for the most essential ingredient for success as a learner of anything is self esteem, and self esteem is built by trusting your mind to accomplish what is releveant in your life...being self-reliant.