i can't fix it

i can't fix it ... okay so guilty as charged but then again not really. There is no guilt. Rather, realization. After an amazing session of Body Talk I got off the table and had an epiphany - "i can't fix it." I am the adult daughter of an alcoholic, the lines run deep affecting many in and out of my immediate family and for too many years, most of my life i have attempted to FIX IT. What is it? In my next writings this will unfold and as many of you who read this will no doubt relate to for good or not ... you too may be the carrier of "i need to fix this" or perhaps unconsciously just went about attempting to. Until ...

Wake UP! Do you know YOUR conscious & Unconscious Beliefs & Beyond Beliefs

I am so grateful that I have come to embrace and understand  BELIEFS and how they make or break our dreams. This BLOG is my THANK YOU to the Masters in NLP whom I have had the priviledge of studying and apprenticing with. Robert Dilts of NLP University and Christina Hall President of NLP Society.
 My life was turned around completely and forever because of NLP. Now, my own work is based in NLP. I will always be grateful for and to NLP and these Master Trainers who create and teach with integrity. This has been passed on to me and I honor this and embrace using these techniques when I work with all my clients.Below is an exerpt from an interview with Robert Dilts for the documentary Beyond Beliefs.




by Robert Dilts, Co-Developer of NLP
Excerpt from interview for the film" Beyond Beliefs

The other thing about NLP it says there are different levels, lets call it programming.  That is, to have a behavior, there is an inner mental map, a cognitive program that sort of guides that behavior.  Behind that cognitive map are beliefs and values which are different than, let’s say, our idea about what we want.  They are more the motivation, the permission, and then behind that is our sense of identity.

So if I say I want something, there is an “I” who wants it, and behind that “I” that’s where you get to that sense of a purpose, of belonging to something that is beyond yourself, that is bigger than yourself.  This is where you get a sense of some kind of deeper vision of purpose.

People who are able to achieve things they want in their life most effectively are people who are aligned in that way:  their identity is aligned with their higher purpose, then their beliefs fit with that identity and that is connected with their capabilities which lead to their behavior.
When you are aligned, when your identity and your beliefs and your capability are aligned, we called that being in the zone.  A lot of NLP is about coaching what you might call the inner game.  Every athlete, every performer knows that you have an outer game, which is what you are doing, what the physical activity is.

And there’s the mental game, which has to do with your mental attitude and your emotional attitude.  So when those things are aligned, the athlete would say you are in the zone and a performer you would say you havepresence. So when you have that sense of confidence, the zone is what we call being in a state of effortless excellence, of flow.

 The idea of neuro-linguistics is you’ve got language and the nervous system.  A positive affirmation is the linguistic part of the belief, but it is not the “neuro” part.  To actually bring in an empowering belief, you are going to be doing more than just saying it in the mind.  That’s the verbal part, the idea of the belief.

 In NLP we say you’ve got to get beyond the idea. to get it in the muscle.  The way you are going to do that is by adding in information from the other senses and also using the body, your physical attitude, you are aligning again the words with your inner images, your memories and your physiology.

 In NLP coaching we do a number of things.  The first is to help people get IN the zone and the second is to find out what gets in the way of being in the zone and how to transform that.  One of the ways that we’re going to coach people to get into the zone, it starts by coming present in the body, to come into the body.  In fact, we say the body is always in the present, to bring the mind and the body into the same place.

Strength of a Call

Strength of a Call

The true strength of a calling seems to emerge when the shadow does and you get to see how you deal with that.

Joseph Campbell once said that “where you stumble, there is your treasure,” referring to a story from the Arabian Nights in which a farmers plow catches on something in the dirt, and despite much struggle he can’t dislodge it. He finally stops, digs in the ground, and discovers that his plow has caught on a metal ring attached to the door, through which the passageway leading to a treasure. Wherever our mossy primal fear reside – our fears of the dark, of death, of being devoured, of meaninglessness, of lovelessness, or of loss – chances are good that beneath them lies the gems of wisdom and maybe a vision or a calling. Wherever you stumble – on a tree root, on a rock, on fear or shame or vulnerability, on someone else’s word, on the truth – dig there.

Whatever lies beneath the surface will usually put up a fight to stay there, and this goes for some of the wildlife we’re likely to encounter in diving into our own pasts. We’re up against that which doesn’t want to be remembered and wants to remain anonymous, invisible, mute, to  cover itself with dirt and leaves and hide while the posse gallops by.

We’re up against whatever we have rejected throughout the run of our lives; the parts of us that split of and went tumbling away; our unlived life; the animal that sleeps at our doorstep.

These unlived parts can include ‘negative” qualities, such as anger, fear, weakness, aggression, vanity, idealism, lust, laziness, tears, everything we were instructed n ot to talk about because it was too embarrassing and too private, all the ghettos and back alleys of our psyches. The unlived parts of us can also include “positive” qualities, like power, leadership, trust, compassion, commitment, sensitivity, creativity, faith, exuberance, and the contents of that 90 percent of our brains we haven’t figures out how to use.

These rejected parts include whatever wasn’t loved, respected, and accepted in us by ourselves, our parents, teachers, peers, religion, and culture. Carl Jung called it our shadow. Robert Bly calls it “the long bag we drag behind us.” In all those qualities that were disapproved of by the people whose approval we needed in order to survive, or believed we needed.

In whatever we rejected, though, is something that a part of us wants, and there lies a calling that we should follow, if only for the sake of completing the jigsaw and healing the past.

Faith will eventually ask of the faithful “What are you willing to give up in order to follow your call?” Sacrifice, says Thomas Merton, is “the shadow in the calling”. It reminds us that we pay a price for every choice and that life doesn’t hold still. It constantly gives over this for that: it wears down its banks and changes course; it’s a propeller that spins so fast it appears to be solid but you don’t dare and try to grasp it.

If calls take us toward what we most deeply want anyway – authenticity, integrity, the full complement, the uncut version – then shining a light into the shadow is part of our deliverance to that outcome, part of our passage. “Everything rests on awareness that a hidden life exists,” the writer Joy Williams says