Lying and Self Sabotage - Why people Lie

Lying And Self Sabotage - Why People Lie

This question is from the private forum for self-sabotage coaches around the world. A question was asked........" how would you coach a liar, someone where lying is part of who they are and what they do? People who lie about small things, big things, and all things?"

The answer provided was this......."Usually, liars are produced by perfectionist parents, who attack the child if there's a mistake outside the preferred behavior. This is where most adult liars come from, a fear of judgment and a fear of never being outside the critical eye of the parent/authority figure. If you fear being judged if wrong, you lie.

This cycle produces a reaction in the psyche that will force the child to lie, in order to avoid punishment or judgment, which threatens their safety. Liars have never made their proper rite of passage from child to adult whatsoever and many liars do indeed lie about things that don't have to be lied about, simply because this pathway is hyper facilitated. I know many people like this and it will cause great resistance energy in any tribe of fully matured adults. Adult liars have child psyches and therefore poor leadership skills. Low confidence in their abilities always follows in the other members of the tribe. Strong men and women never lie.

Growth is about the experience, experience is about making mistakes and dealing with those mistakes, not avoiding their sting. Liars buffer themselves from that sting, which promotes growth through pain, and therefore liars are often trapped in a severe form of arrested development. The growth cycle of a human is simple.

Experience is encountered as we age ........... mistakes are made .......... pain is produced from the mistakes ..... and positive change/maturation occurs if the pain is dealt with correctly. Liars never get past the second part of that equation because they refuse to admit to any wrongdoing, mistakes, or problems that they need to remedy. Lies protect us from painful introspection and therefore lies protect us from growth and the proper maturation cycles that end with us entering our true adult role in the tribe. Without tribal leaders, the tribe falls apart.

Adult liars (regardless of what they lie about) are clear threats to the perpetuation of any society, culture, tribe, etc. In ancient societies, adults who refused to take their proper rite of passage from child to adult were often murdered as they slept because it was just too risky to let them live out child-based behaviors and thought patterns as adults. If we look at our leaders today in most facets of our society, the threat nonmature adults pose to the entire tribe should be extremely obvious.

Currently, in most countries, we are being led by children trapped in adult bodies. Our societies are collapsing because of it, as was always known by all ancient cultures."