Becoming Interdependent and regaining Self Esteem

The word “dependent” MEANS “relying on someone or something else.” The opposite of dependence is, of course, independence. Many people believe that “independent has a negative connotation, i.e., standing alone, completely detached from any other person. For this reason I have used a word probably not found in a dictionary - “ undependent”, which means for the purpose of the work I do and for the series, “ to be free from the control of someone or something else.


The nature of our human race is that we all are interdependent - that is, reciprocal dependency on one another for certain things. But when interdependency becomes unbalanced and one person is doing all the giving and another all the taking it is no longer interdependence, but rather dependence of one person on the other, and when this happens both parties become resentful of each other. 

            There are times in a person’s life when we are legitimately dependent - when we are small children, for example, or when we are ill or in some other way unable to care for ourselves temporary, because permanent dependency is deadly.

Heart's Flow of Love unrestricted

The greatest pain of the feminine is not feeling the flow of love… the pain of not being able to have your heart’s love received or feeling the love is not flowing back to you.
When the heart’s flow of love is unrestricted, the goddess spirit is within you…

In moments of being with your truth are you re-kindling the natural Radiance, Beauty, Divinity, Grace and the Shine of the Goddess within you?

Searching for Pieces

            In the process of living out the years of our lives, there comes a time when we realize that, somehow, we’ve gotten lost along the way. What are we looking for? We are searching for the pieces of ourselves that we’ve lost, for we know that without them it is difficult to experience real moments.

           Some of them were taken away by our parents or caretakers, in an attempt to turn us into what they thought we should be.

Some of them we’ve given away to others in an attempt to be accepted or loved. Some of them we’ve hidden away, frightened of what others might think if they knew our secret selves.  And some of them we’ve simply forgotten about, because we’ve been trying so hard to be something other than whom we really are.

Becoming the Someone YOU want to meet

Becoming the someone YOU want to meet is what this blog unfolds. At some point I became aware of knowing that I knew the answer to the question I had spent my entire life looking for.

Most of us don't consciously choose to think, behave, talk, walk, or eat like our parents. It just happens and sometimes so subtly that we don't even notice the similarities until someone points them out "You're kidding" we respond with disbelief. "But I am different from them" Maybe yes, maybe no. It is how you are the same that's the issue"

Without reclaiming our missing pieces, we will never experience the wholeness we crave and the peace we are searching for. We will find it difficult to have the real moments that we need. How do we return to a state of wholenes? We must pass from the cramped, yet familiar womb of who we have been into the person we are meant to be. 

We must take the journey from our old life of sacrifice and limitations into a new life of authenticity and freedom. We must give birth to ourselves again.

Disturbing our own depth

We, find ourselves try doing more, going to new places, changing the way our bodies look, buying something different, or loving someone new, and perhaps for a while we feel better. But then, the shadow of discontent returns, stronger than ever, and we wonder if something is wrong with us.

What are we searching and looking for? We are searching for the pieces that had been lost or given away in our childhood and without them it was difficult to experience in moments that are real (it is hard to be present if one's needs are not being met:) 

To make up for this we attempted to make our own children's life easy...to give them all the love we never knew, wanting to rescue them from hurt and pain, but does it work? Or is it that no matter what are the circumstances we are given we want to carve our own way!

This unique blog will examine this and how other women and men, young women and young men know the more they travel this path, daring to disturb the universe, the more they disturb their own depths and yet do so.

Lost along the way

For awhile in every one's life, we walk as if we belong on this earth, as if we are our own people, as if we trust our own minds. There is no gap between true nature and our ability to express it. What happens to that hum and hunger? How do those eyes become shadowed, suspicious, just a few years later? How do those bodies get rigid and closed? How do all those dreams become crushed under arms that fold tight over chests?


How does a river become layered over that true nature, covering it with limiting beliefs?


We are taught to become proficient at keeping ourselves from learning, and articulate in all the things we that are wrong with them. A groove of awareness of our mistakes is carved into our brains. Thus we are taught to take for granted what we can do, and instead concentrate on our defeat.

In the process of living out the years of our lives, there comes a time when we realize that, somehow, we've gotten lost along the way. We've lost our sense of purpose and direction. We've lost the ability to live by our own values and beliefs(some of us do not even know what they are:(


 We've lost the capacity for uninhibited joy and celebration. We move through each day with buried uneasiness, a silent suspicion that something is not right.


 No matter how hard we search for the source of discomfort, we can find nothing apparently wrong. We may as well be chasing a ghost who will not reveal himself.

Self Reliance

Like Dorthy and her companions on their journey to find the Wizard of Oz, some people including myself were sent and then sent my child off in life hoping they will find their hearts, their minds, their courage, their magic, their way back home. Rather than being nurtured, encouraged, and having our and their natural resources developed, not always have we been or are they in enviornments in which we have been able to or are they able to thrive, respond and change ourselves or our children themselves. Like us our children become convinced they must change the very nature of who they are. Spells are cast that shrivel their belief in their own minds.

It's a tragedy, for the most essential ingredient for success as a learner of anything is self esteem, and self esteem is built by trusting your mind to accomplish what is releveant in your life...being self-reliant.