Body Orgasmic: 7 Ways to Great Sex

Shasta Townsend

Yoga practice helps us feel better in body, mind and spirit but what if it also offered access to a deep, blissful, connected state through sex?

There are millions of women practicing yoga around the globe. We stretch, sweat and strengthen ourselves so we may be more radiant, powerful and beautiful on and off the yoga mat. Women have embraced Yoga as an empowerment tool (and I salute our male yogis too) but there is one final area yet to be embraced—our sexuality and our power as sexual beings.

Yoga may have changed your life in a myriad of ways but has it changed your sex life? The time is ripe to extend our practice from body beautiful to body orgasmic—great yoga on the mat leads to great joy on the mattress.

This article is not intended to be a dissertation on the power of sexuality but rather a joyful offering of how your yoga practice can help you experience ananda (bliss) through sex.

7. Know me, know my body.

Yoga increases your awareness of your body. You begin to know your body in new and wonderful ways which means you can know what is nourishing, strengthening and affirming for your body on the mat and on the mattress.

I remember a friend in university telling me she had no sense of where her body was most of the time and during sex she felt like a disconnected head.  Needless to say her level of body connection and therefore pleasure was non-existent. A relationship with your body is one of the most important steps to great sex.

The next time you are in Triangle Pose, ask yourself where your body really is in space. Notice exactly what feels good and what feels uncomfortable. Begin to know your body deeply so it may tell you what you truly need to feel fabulous.

6. The gateway drug.

Which brings us to a deep truth—great yoga and great sex is not just about technique but about a deep connection to presence. Presence can be described as that radiant life force or Divine power within us.

Remember a time you felt so alive in your practice; your body was a gateway to calm, beauty, sensuality and the Divinity within you. Your body is your tool for awakening. Embrace it. I guarantee this gateway will be one of the most euphoric drugs available to you—your own body.

5. Slow down baby.

Speaking of presence, yoga contributes to great sex because it teaches us to slow down. When we are rushing through our life, our practice and foreplay all with a sense of urgency to get it done we miss the deeper radiance within us as well an opportunity to make a deep connection with our self and our partner.

The average lov making session is less than seven minutes. I take longer to drink a cup of coffee!

What’s the rush? Perhaps it’s our addiction to “busy.” Remember you created your to-do list so you can decide what’s on it. Would you rather be busy or “get busy” with your lover? Perhaps joy, celebration and connection could be at the top of your list as you slow down and embrace joy.

4. Getting my sexy back.

Within a year of starting yoga I went from a size 14 to a size 6 and felt sexier than ever before. I am not suggesting in anyway that body size should indicate how women feel about themselves. I know size 20+ women who are some of the sexiest women on the planet. Self-deprivation, eating disorders and feeling worthless because we aren’t toothpicks is not what it’s about.

Skinny does not equate to sexy. However, all women know that when you don’t feel attractive you don’t feel turned on. Yoga helps balance our weight, our hormones and the way we feel about ourselves.

Now at a happy size eight I am not the skinniest woman in the room, nor do I need to be. I embrace my curves and feel confident in my skin which allows me to be confident and embracing in the bedroom as well.

3. Shameless.

Although we have come a long way baby we still carry a lot of shame about our bodies and sexuality. I think of myself as a free, alive and radiant woman but still remember a university party and the guy who called me a “slut” because I would not sleep with him, but had slept with his friend. I know this is a clear example of jerk-dom combined with a ridiculous premise but I also still feel the remnants of the shame of this experience.

Liking sex and wanting it for myself and not as a servant to men’s desires made me a “slut” in his eyes and made me question myself.

Women who are overt sexual beings in our society are often seen as “whores” so we lock our sexuality away to fit the good girl or virgin archetype. This compartmentalizing is not only extremely damaging as we deny ourselves, but also why we struggle as a culture for holism on our planet today.

Yoga is a tool that reminds us that all truly is one. We are the radiant sexual Goddess and the innocent girl. We do not need to sacrifice any part of our self or feel shameful as all is beautiful in the eyes of the Divine.

As I freed up my shame about my robust sexuality I felt a new confidence grow in myself. This allowed me to feel more fearless and therefore less protective and defensive, which in turn opened up a new depth of intimacy and joy in my relationship with my husband, which meant even better sex.

2. Saying yes to joy.

In ancient Yoga philosophy, kama, defined as pleasure, joy and desire was a high principle. It was one of the four highest goals of life along with service. As humanity embraced a punishing God and viewed life as suffering and the body as dirty, we moved away from the philosophy of life as a gift and saw detachment, self-denial and suffering as holy.

Tantric teachings remind us that we are here to experience joy in this life and in this body. Even current neuroscience confirms that the human brain is wired for connection, freedom and celebration. Your right hemisphere is all about the party—joy is your natural state! Yoga helps us experience and remember our joy.

Remember the euphoria you experienced after a great Yoga class? You were glowing with possibility and all was beautiful in the world. Your heart was open and you could not stop smiling. Stepping into our joy is one of the most powerful tools of healing available on this planet today.

Sex can also be a great source of joy if we embrace it as such. Part of this is letting go of our shame, fear and denial but also to see ourselves, our bodies and our union with another as a source of what we are here to experience—joy! So next time you say yes to sex, think of it as a way to say yes to kama.

1. I bow to you gorgeous one.

Yoga reminds us to honor each other. When we bow and offer a Namaste we are literally bowing to the Divine in each other. Our sexual union can also be a way of honoring the Divine in our selves and our partner. How do you honor your partner? How do you think about your lover? Do you seek the Divine within them?

I have been married for nearly 10 years and I still have amazing sex and yes, with my husband. Not only am I still in love with my husband, I am also extremely attracted to him. Why did this attraction last? Well, I look for things to appreciate, to love and to honor. I purposefully choose to get turned on about him rather than to think about the things that annoy me. Moreover I honor the Divine in him and seek to affirm it in and out of the bedroom. I see him as the Divine in gorgeous form.

In Yoga philosophy our Ishta Devata is the Divine in beloved form. My husband is a powerful living breathing emanation of the Divine to me as I am to him. Who would not want to have sex with a god?

It’s time for us to embrace our sacred sexual current and free ourselves to experience ananda (bliss) on our mat and on our mattress.

The Psychology Behind Why Listening to Music Makes Sex So Much Better

The Psychology Behind Why Listening to Music Makes Sex So Much Better

Alexia LaFata

It’s a classic debate in the realm of Creationism versus evolution, of the chicken versus the egg, of almond butter versus peanut butter: Should you listen to music while having sex or not?

I know this question has perplexed humans for decades. I’m sure that “back in the day,” awkwardly fidgeting with a cumbersome record player before getting nasty was inconvenient, so most people just screwed in sad, sad silence.

But now, all we have to do is click open iTunes or Spotify, press the play button, and boom: Marvin Gaye can join you for some sweet lovemaking.

I thought a lot of people listened to music while having sex. For me, a good sex playlist has been an essential accessory in the bedroom and has only increased any and all physical sensations and emotional undertones.

It turns out, though, that most people I spoke to found playing music while having sex kind of weird, or never thought to prioritize it as an integral part of the experience in the first place. Other people said that they want to try, but never have the chance to actually turn some music on before starting.

Well, everyone should listen to music while having sex. And not just because everyone loves music, but because there are actual psychological benefits, including giving you the tools to be your absolute best in the bedroom.

Researchers from McGill University found that listening to music prompts the release of dopamine, the “feel good” chemical in our brains that also gets released when we reward ourselves with food, sleep and, of course, sex.

Another study from the same university found that listening to certain kinds of stimulating music increases our signs of arousal, including our heart rate, breathing rate and skin conductance.

It looks like you can maximize your feel-good chemical release by listening to music while having sex — that is, by engaging in two major activities that cause dopamine release at the same time. What could be more stimulating than that?

Here’s even more proof: A variety of studies, including this one from 2006 andanother from 2000, explored the relationship between listening to music and light exercise. These studies suggest that people who listen to music when they work out feel less fatigue and therefore exercise for longer periods of time than people who don’t listen to music when they work out.

Researchers discovered that listening to music helps us narrow our attention to the physical activity task at hand, which means we are distracted from any sensations of discomfort that may arise from fatigue while exercising.

And when we’re able to focus solely on our movements because we are sufficiently distracted from feeling tired and achey, the duration and intensity of our work out may also increase, which will certainly improve our mood.

So, what does all of this mean when it comes to sex? As most of us know, sex can be as exhausting as working out. Like a great session in the gym, a great sex session pushes you to your physical limits, tests your endurance and makes you sweat profusely.

Sometimes, it really does feel like an intense 30-minute sex session burns as many calories as the elliptical, especially when you incorporate strength training in the form of those complex, seemingly impossible positions from the latest issue of Cosmo.

It only makes sense, then, that listening to music while having sex has the same benefits as listening to music while engaging in any other kind of physical activity.

Cranking the tunes during sex can help you focus on your moves and distract you from negative thoughts or feelings (whether that’s fatigue, stress or anything else) that might prevent you from reaching your full potential in bed.

You’ll last longer, feel less tired and, because of how focused you are on the actual act, be hyperaware of every physical sensation.

Even Spotify thinks listening to music while having sex is important — so important, in fact, that they conducted a study in 2012 to learn what kinds of music we’re listening to while we get freaky.

Led by music psychologist Daniel Mullensiefen, the study asked 2,000 people in the UK between the ages of 18 and 91 their favorite songs to have sex to.

Here are the top 10 results:

1. “She’s Like The Wind” by Patrick Swayze

2. “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye

3. “Boléro” by London Symphony Orchestra

4. “Take My Breath Away” by Berlin

5. “You See The Trouble With Me” by Barry White

6. “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye

7. “Unchained Melody” by Righteous Brothers

8. “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion

9. “Je T’aime” by Serge Gainsbourg

10. “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston

I don’t know about you, but this science-backed playlist seems way too heavy on the mushy side, so I’d like to offer my own version of this playlist, which consists of more sultry voices cooing against deep, unhurried basses — if you’re into that.

1. “High For This” by The Weeknd (also “Wicked Games” — actually, pretty much anything by The Weeknd)

2. “Nirvana” by Sam Smith

3. “Pony” by Ginuwine

4. “Novacane” by Frank Ocean

5. “So Appalled” by Kanye West

6. “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green

7. “French Exit” by The Antlers

8. “Do I Wanna Know” by Arctic Monkeys

9. “Instant Crush” by Daft Punk

10. “Latch” by Disclosure

We met seven years ago, and the pure physical joy between us has never paused for breath. Keeley Milne

I cannot wrap my mind around why my body so loves his, but oh, how it does.

Every inch—from the curve of his smile, to the way his hair sticks up after sleep, to the strength of his shoulders, his legs, him wrapped around me.

There is no curbing this chemistry.

When we broke up for a time, we couldn’t even meet one another for coffee because we knew what passion it would lead to (and he respected me too much to engage in random sex). There is love, yes—the kind that comes with true recognition of one another, complete with peccadilloes, inadequacies. He challenges my mind—and that in itself is erotic—but this is really about two bodies colliding.

Somewhere that love has meshed with the lust and created a mind-blowing bliss I could never have imagined.

I like to think I am very strong, independent and need no completion. Were I to remain single for the rest of my life, I believe I would remain at peace, loving, happy and engaged with the world around me. I need no other, no better half, no partner.

I am a full, rich being in my own right.

But my pure animal lust for him cannot be denied. I’ve dated other men before him, even been married. Nothing has ever tipped my world upside down like this. He is the ocean to my beach, the lullabye to my nightmare, the cream to my sugar. He is every cheesy line in every ridiculous greeting card ever written.

He is the antidote to my poison.

When I am with him, my mind goes quiet.  For someone who has searched the world over for a mind at peace, this is heaven encapsulated. Perhaps that is why I can then so eagerly turn to tactile pleasures, a kiss, a stroke, a sigh.

My body feels strong with him. He predicts my movements, knows my rhythms, answers with his own. His heat seeks mine, he loves me wholly and deeply. To paraphrase John Mayer, he “never lets my head hit the bed without his hand behind it.”

The sex is full of connection at times, other times just pure unadulterated passion. Always, there is trust.

I fought against this pleasure for years. Believing myself, us, undeserving. I wasted time tangled up in disaster-webs of my own weaving. Now, my heart has opened to embrace this as a part of my new life. In another lifetime, I hated every inch of my skin, every ounce of fat, every freckle and strand of hair.

Now, my body is a miracle in action. Running, hiking, f*cking—I am proud of every movement it makes.

He rolls over in the night and reaches for me, tucks an arm around me, pulls me close. I am blessed abundantly, and I do not push this love away. My body and heart have earned these rights—to be held closely and safely, to be made love to riotously and thoroughly.

To be loved through and through, and then over again.

To be at peace, mind and body.

Keeley Milne~

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F*ck, I Love You.