Do your Goals seem out of Reach?

When your goals begin to seem out of reach, take a step back instead of quitting.

Staying consistent and overcoming numerous challenges in and on our journey, means we have to focus on becoming the person who could achieve that goal. How does this person think, what would they see, hear, feel, or what would they feel, hear and see and what action do they take? This is called role modeling.

We can model another who has achieved specific outcomes (goals). This can be done through strategy elicitation. Everyone has a strategy - - absolutely everyone. Some strategies are great. Others not so much. Right now think about your strategies. Think about the way you go about your day. That is a strategy. Did you know strategies can be changed?

Over the years working with my dream clients I have elicited strategies to get to the root of why certain dream clients were not reaching their goals. Next, I would decode the strategy of people who had achieved goals that my dream clients wanted to reach but were not reaching. The next thing we did was something called transference of strategies and BOOM. Once they had their new strategy and continued to focus on their behavior and habits they were aligned with all their goals and everything else fell into place.

Focusing on the simple things can take you in the direction you want to go. Here is the KEY: You have to know where you want to go.

~Collitalks

Self Sabotage Insight - Taking on the Role of Career or Rescuer

Self Sabotage Insight - Taking on The Role of Carer or Rescuer

 

The “rescuer” or “carer” in self sabotage is a common adaptation for fitting into the herd. It’s a safe role to play inside the tribe because very few tribes cast their “carer” aside. The societal roles we adopt rarely reflect anything but our need to acquire the most safety. The carer or rescuer role always ends in misery, addiction and premature death. Here's why.

The “rescuer” or “carer” is a personality type many people adopt, where they always find the wounded bird to take care of their entire lives. They program themselves to believe that everyone else deserves care, attention and rescuing.....while usually giving themselves no care or self maintenance in return. You can't give from an empty well. The carer or rescuer always drain themselves and then keep giving well beyond their ability to recover. They do this because they believe "giving" is the safer role to play inside the tribe.The carer or rescuer often seeks out the most dysfunctional groups or individuals to care for, in order to fulfill their subconscious adaptation programming. The more dysfunctional the group or person to care for, the better. 

The "carer" or "rescuer" often come from family backgrounds where their parents were dysfunctional, addicted, medicated, diseased, self abusive etc. This translates into a need to rescue others for life, when in reality the young adult (who becomes the carer or rescuer) is simply attempting to rescue or care for their parents subconsciously, for the rest of their days. The rescuer or carer behavior program often represents a dysfunctional bonding adaptation with the alpha and omega figures (mother and/or father) from their original family unit.

This often manifests as the carer or rescuer taking up employment in nursing, mental health sectors, the medical field, charity work, religious organizations, the social justice movement or a wing of government that tries to "help" the less fortunate etc etc. Each organization listed only produces more dysfunctional people, which is great for the carer or rescuer, because the supply of victims never dries up. In psychology you become who you hang around, so the tragic end to this story is already baked in the cake. This leads to the person always giving their energy away yet never getting any energy back in return.......which is just the way the carer or rescuer like it. To them, playing the victim or martyr (compared to rising up to their full potential) is more beneficial for gaining societal attention. 

That's the big secret though, you can care for tens of thousands more effectively if you're super successful. If you're successful on all levels, you don't have to give until you bleed.....and therefore everyone wins. 

The carer or rescuer is simply afraid of being successful on all levels because that brings judgement from other tribal members who are equally afraid of rising up to their full potential. The rescuer or carer doesn't even believe they deserve anything more than being the doormat or the martyr. This is why they get stuck in their stuckness.

The carer or rescuer is always drained of their energy, which is where they feel most comfortable and safe. 

Comfortable and safe as the perpetual punching bag for others, who often prey on people who are willing to give away their energy for free. The rescuer and carer are super comfortable and feel safer giving yet never receiving. The “carer” cares for everyone else but themselves, even though they suffer immensely under the societal role they decided to adopt, in order to find security in the tribe.

The “carer” believes they'll be attacked if they rise up beyond the dysfunction of the tribe and the pain this role causes them daily. It's a trap, as all self sabotage cycles are. There is no greater safety to be found when you actively destroy yourself, in order to fit into a society that routinely consumes its own.  If the carer or rescuer rises up to their true potential, they fear becoming the proverbial tall poppy that gets hacked down by the underachieving hoards who do this hacking as an Olympic sport. Yes it's scary to rise above the average, but that's not a good enough reason to dull your shine for your entire life! 

No one hates the janitor yet most people hate the CEO. It's safer at the bottom than the top. If people lack the courage to make it to the top of the crab bucket, the bottom is where you can feel safer in the bigger cluster of childlike crabs, who watch life from the cheap seats. In the end “the carer” or “rescuer” equates suffering to taking the high moral ground but it's the ultimate ambush. They’re just simply afraid to let the best of themselves shine through and pursue the amazing life they’re completely capable of manifesting for themselves at any time. 

If you find any truth in this short explanation and you would like to overcome your personal self sabotage, email me at innerexpression88@gmail.com Title your email, "I want to change. It's time. I'm ready." Are you tired of playing small? If you are, make a move.

Overcoming Worst - Case Scenario Thoughts

Many of us and I include myself here tend to jump to the worst-case scenarios without even considering all the realistic options available to us at the moment. We do it because we try to convince ourselves that we're preparing for the perceived worst-case situation. But all we actually end up doing is ruminate over negative emotions and ignore any positive possibilities.

I used to do this until I literally hacked my subconscious and replaced Catastrophic thinking which reduces our ability to respond in a rational way. Now, I no longer obsess about what might possibly happen in the future.

As for myself, I have come to a new familiar and safe card and that is through working on my subconscious. If we are alive this moment is all we have.

We cannot change the past - it is over. We cannot control the future - it is not here so ... Uncovering the preconceived notions you have about the potential consequences of the difficult situation and objectively will evaluate how much of it you can control. Replacing our fears with trust, and learning to let go of the things we cannot control is the new safe card we all could have if we work at it.

~Collitalks

Mind drives the Body

Our body does so much for us every moment, without us even knowing about it. Our body is really doing the very best it can. What we do to nourish and maintain our body has no say in this. The mind drives the body. Garbage in garbage out and that is not only the food we put in but also the thoughts we think and our internal dialogue.

When I taught mind-body communication to athletes I used cars as an example because really our body is the vehicle our soul rides in. And so I would ask the participants what kind of car they would like to drive. Once they had responded they came to the same conclusion that what matters is not the car but how they maintain it that will guarantee the life of the car.

Throughout our entire life, our body works to heal itself and maintain its internal balance. When one takes the time to reflect we discover that our body is truly amazing. I encourage you to embrace it, improve it and take care of it the best you can. Give it love and nourishment AND that includes nourishing thoughts

Start NOW by saying kind and gentle things to your body. Accept yourself. Love yourself just as you are - you are enough - always have been and always will be. Keep up and you will be kept up. I am very interested in what advice you may have for living your best life so if you choose please share.

~ Collitalks

"The Self Sabotage of Living Like A Teenager Long Into Our Adult Years

"The Self Sabotage of Living Like A Teenager Long Into Our Adult Years

As self-sabotage coaches, we often encounter "pro-teens", or what we call "lifelong professional teenagers." Lots of self-sabotage can be attributed to a person not taking their proper rite of passage from child to adult. When we fail to mature into a fully functional adult, inside our adult life, things usually go very wrong.

I remember one client who was checking all the boxes for "pro-teen" based behaviors. Those behaviors were causing her lots of tension in her adult life. She didn't save any of her money and lived from cheque to cheque. There was always more money flowing out than in.....and she just kept spending anyway. She obsessed over things that a teenager would obsess over.....like clothes (the latest fashions), boys, watching lots of TV, sleeping in when everyone in the house was already up, eating junk food late into the night, and then starving herself the next day and of course, she was very concerned with what other people thought of her. The opinions of others ruled her life. She was a follower and a people pleaser, which meant at the end of the day everyone was happy....except her. People pleasers are doormats for everyone else. As children, we're naturally like this. We're supposed to morph out of it but she never had. This is now extremely common in large portions of the adult population.

This was her patterned behavior, the way she adapted to the world in order to increase her chances of acceptance, survival, and being well-liked in the herd. Only kids think like this. Real adults don't. Unfortunately, these are the survival adaptations we make as children and this client wasn't understanding that most of the problems she was having in her life were because she was acting, thinking, and talking like a teenager......inside her adult life. She was acting like she was 18 but she was actually 48. A child only thinks 5, 10, and 15 minutes down the road. A real adult thinks 5, 10, and 15 years down the road. When you think short term inside an adult life........you get pain. And this client was in plenty of mental, physical, spiritual, and financial pain. The more she avoided growing up, the more pain she would encounter. Child-based behaviors were deeply engrained into her nervous system......so what was the solution?

Like in all cases of self-sabotage, our behaviors are simply patterns that are playing on an old record player inside our subconscious. We can change that record at any time. I helped her get rid of the old record and put on a new record, which accelerated her behavior toward her dreams. We didn't just make her a new record, we laid down a whole new LP, with a brand new "top 10". That new top 10 was about her rising up to her full potential and making her dreams come true.

If you're looking to overcome your self-sabotage, just email me at innerexpression88@gmail.com. Title your email "It's time. I am ready for change."

Blessed be. Love only

Colli

Freedom From Self Sabotage

Self Sabotage........The Art of Making Sure You Never Get Ahead

In the field of self-sabotage, people do often get ahead, they just even out their successes with disasters.....so that nothing ever changes. There's exercise and the benefits that exercise provides. And then there are things that counter the health benefits of exercise. If you exercise but counter the benefits of exercise (in one way or another) nothing changes. When you put forward effort but you actively block your own evolution or advancement.......that's self-sabotage. When you spend money you don't have or plow yourself with 2 rows of cookies or half a liter of ice cream after eating perfectly all day......it's the same thing. One step forward, one step back. Nothing changes. That's self-sabotage in a nutshell.

Self-sabotage is based on a fear of success and this fear of success is actually manufactured by the government and media purposely, so people constantly work 24 hours per day keeping themselves down. It's one thing for me to keep you down (If I was your ruler) but it's quite another thing for me to use brainwashing tactics and behavior modification psychology......so you keep yourself down. If I was your ruler, using behavior modification psychology to keep you down, I can always blame you for your failures......but it was actually me causing them.

To make a long story short, there are many things going on with your TV and your movie screen (and your radio stations, your newspapers, and your magazines, etc) which program your subconscious mind to keep destroying yourself and your innate human potential. This video provides one of 1000 examples I could show you. If you're looking to overcome your self-sabotage, simply email me at innerexpression88@gmail.com Title your email, "It's time. I'm ready."

Your Soul's Calling - - You are Enough

If someone truly cares about you, they do not have to make it known to you - - their actions will.

You won't have to second guess yourself or overthink every interaction you have with them. You won't always worry about upsetting them. You won't have to walk around on eggshells or a glass ceiling.

It is the same if someone loves you for who you are, you will just know. You will feel comfortable in their presence. They will always reciprocate the efforts you put into the relationship. Know your worth. Don't allow anyone to make you feel like you're not good enough. YOU are ENOUGH. YOU have always been ENOUGH and always will be ENOUGH. Now go live out the truth of your soul's calling.

Blessed be. Love only

~Collitalks