The Reason

There’s a reason I do this work. It’s not just passion. It’s personal. It’s survival that turned into soul purpose. I was the woman who did everything right on the outside — Achiever. Strong. Capable. But inside? I was a tangled web of inherited pain, buried rage, and silent sabotage. I didn’t know I was living out the grief of women who came before me. I didn’t know the reason I kept choosing struggle was because struggle felt like home. That I was loyal to pain that wasn’t mine. That my nervous system confused safety with chaos. Until life cracked me wide open. The ending of a long relationship that mirrored my childhood wounds. Health challenges that screamed what I refused to hear. A betrayal that forced me to stop performing strength and finally feel. That’s when I found Systemic Constellations. It was like someone turned the lights on in a room I didn’t even know I was trapped in. I could see the patterns. I could name the loyalties. And — for the first time — I chose me. I stopped trying to fix myself and started listening to what my soul had been begging me to hear. And that’s when everything changed. Not overnight. Not cleanly. But truthfully. Fully. And forever. This isn’t just work to me. This is devotion. This is how I broke the cycle. And why I help others do the same. Because there’s nothing more sacred than watching someone remember who they were before the wound. And there’s no greater freedom than realizing you were never broken — just carrying what wasn’t yours. This is why I guide others to freedom from self-sabotage, inherited pain, and disconnection from soul. Not to make them “better”… But to help them finally come home. If you’ve been feeling like you’re spinning in loops you can’t name… You’re not lost. You’re being called back to the truth.

Here's The Biggest Struggle I See Amongst Ambitious, Heart - Led People

Here’s the biggest struggle I see amongst ambitious, heart-led people: They’re trying to build their dream life with a nervous system that’s still loyal to survival. They think it's procrastination. Or laziness. Or fear of failure. But what I see? Ancestral loyalty. Childhood imprints. Invisible contracts with pain. They’re carrying wounds that aren’t even theirs. Patterns that go back generations. Sabotage that whispers: “Who will I betray if I succeed?” “Who am I without my suffering?” “Do I even have permission to thrive?” Most people think the fix is more discipline, better habits, or another mindset hack. But you can’t affirm your way out of a lineage that hasn’t been healed. You can’t goal-set your way out of a nervous system still in exile. 🔥 What actually works? We go to the root. We make the unconscious seen. We release inherited trauma. We shift the story at the soul level. This is what I do through Systemic Trauma Resolution, Family Constellations, and Freeing the Self from Sabotage. Because the real breakthrough? It doesn’t come from pushing harder. It comes from remembering who you were before survival taught you to forget. Believe Breathe Transfrom Collitalks Love and soul hugs ✨ DM me “ROOTED” if you’re ready to break the pattern and finally feel safe in your own success.

Do You Remember Who You Were Before Survival Told You to Forget

Being able to finally break free from self-sabotage is simply a process of ripping off the blindfold society handed you — and finally seeing the invisible chains you inherited. You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re carrying wars you didn’t start. Healing means finally dropping the weapons you didn’t even know you were holding. Believe Breathe Transform Collitalks Love and soul hugs

Welcome back to Collitalks Transformative Conversations — the space where real conversations crack the surface and healing gets raw. I’m Colli , your creator, host, director, and producer — basically, the one stirring the pot and asking the questions that matter. Today, I’m sitting down with the unstoppable Sharol Sommerville — a wild spirit from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, who’s no stranger to chaos and no stranger to conquering it. Sharol’s story is the kind that hits you in the gut and lifts you higher — a journey through abuse, homelessness, survival, and ultimate transformation. Now a Reiki Master, Wellness Coach, and Child Abuse Prevention Educator, she’s spent 45+ years mastering the art of breaking chains — both seen and unseen — and helping others find real freedom in their lives. This isn’t just an interview — it’s an invitation to meet your own resilience through her story. So buckle up — and let’s dive into "Finding Freedom in Chaos" with the fierce and fearless Sharol Sommerville. https://innerexpression88.podbean.com/e/finding-freedom-in-chaos-cheryl-somervilles-journey/

Why You Keep Feeling "Not Good Enough" (and How to Blow Up That Lie for Good)

🧨 Why You Keep Feeling "Not Good Enough" (and How to Blow Up That Lie for Good) Real talk: If you’re sick of achieving more but feeling less, you’re not crazy — you’re caught in a pattern. And it’s not even your pattern. Clients keep telling me: ➔ "I KNOW I'm capable, so why do I always sabotage it?" ➔ "No matter what I do, I never feel enough." ➔ "I’m tired of second-guessing myself to death." Spoiler alert: This isn’t a mindset issue. It’s systemic trauma and inherited family loyalty messing with your head (and your dreams). 🔍 Here’s What’s Actually Happening: Your nervous system is loyal to an ancestor’s heartbreak, loss, or failure. Somewhere deep inside, you believe, "If they didn’t get to have it, I don’t deserve it either." Thriving feels like betrayal. Visibility feels like danger. Success feels like abandonment. It’s NOT because you’re lazy, broken, or ungrateful. It’s because your bloodline taught survival > success. And your body is still playing by those rules. ⚡️ Why Now? Because we’re waking the hell up. You can’t keep cramming your soul into someone else’s survival story anymore. The old contracts are expired. You’re being asked to become the one who breaks the cycle — not by fighting your family, but by LOVING them enough to evolve. 🔥 My Method to Break This Pattern Wide Open: ✅ We spot the sabotage patterns hiding in your family system. ✅ We release the inherited trauma weighing you down. ✅ We rewrite your nervous system’s "default setting" to THRIVE instead of survive. ✅ We give you back YOUR permission slip to live massive, unapologetic, soul-lit success. I’m not here to band-aid your self-sabotage. I’m here to set you FREE from the invisible crap that’s been running your life behind the scenes. 💬 Truth bomb: You’re not failing. You’re being loyal. And once you see it, you can choose a different legacy. 👉🏼 You are the dream your ancestors couldn’t even speak out loud. 👉🏼 You’re allowed to be more. 👉🏼 You’re allowed to win. Ready to shatter the cycle? Let's do it. #SoulWork #SelfSabotageNoMore #FamilyHealing #SystemicTrauma #BreakingCycles #NotBrokenBonded #LeadTheLegacy #BigEnergyHealing

Why Do I Freeze When I Know What I Want?

🌪 “Why Do I Freeze When I Know What I Want?” A Deep Dive into the Hidden Roots of Stuckness, Sabotage & Systemic Trauma Lately, I’ve been hearing a familiar theme from multiple clients: ✨ “I know what I want… so why can’t I just go for it?” ✨ “I start strong, then completely freeze.” ✨ “It’s like part of me disappears the moment I try to take action.” This experience isn’t laziness. It’s not lack of ambition. It’s not even fear of failure. This kind of “freezing” is often a trauma response—and more often than not, it’s not even your trauma. Here’s what’s actually going on underneath the freeze: 🔍 The Invisible Roots: Systemic Trauma & Unconscious Loyalty In Family Constellations work, we see this over and over again: The moment someone moves toward expansion, a hidden system gets activated. ⚡️ A grandparent who fled a war and lost everything when they dared to dream. ⚡️ A parent who stayed small to survive. ⚡️ An untold story of exile, betrayal, or punishment for standing out. You, as the next generation, unconsciously stay “loyal” to their fate. Your nervous system says: “If they suffered for wanting more, who am I to thrive?” “If I rise, will I still belong?” “If I succeed, does that mean I’m abandoning their pain?” This isn’t a mindset issue—it’s ancestral entanglement. It’s a part of your system still holding on to unresolved grief, guilt, and fear. 🌀 What Leads to This Pattern? Unprocessed generational trauma (especially in families with displacement, addiction, or loss) Cultural or familial messages around success being selfish, dangerous, or unattainable Hidden loyalty to a suffering ancestor (“I’ll carry it for you”) Reenactment of a pattern where love = sacrifice 🔥 My Expert Insight (and What You Can Do) Here’s the truth: You don’t have to freeze. You don’t have to stay loyal to pain to belong. But you do have to see the pattern and name it. That’s where I come in. I help you: ✨ Identify who you might be entangled with ✨ Release inherited burdens that were never yours ✨ Give back what no longer serves your soul ✨ Rewire your nervous system to feel safe in growth, power, and visibility When you understand why you freeze, you reclaim choice. You stop fighting yourself and start honoring your truth. 💬 What I tell my clients: “This isn’t resistance. It’s remembrance. You’re not broken. You’re bonded. And once we untangle that bond, you’re free.” If this speaks to you, you’re not alone. There’s a wave of people waking up to what they’ve inherited—and they’re ready to break the cycle, not from rebellion, but from love. I see you. I’ve got you. Let’s do the real work—the kind that liberates generations. #FamilyConstellations #SelfSabotage #SystemicTrauma #BreakTheCycle #SoulHealing #AncestralHealing #UnfreezeYourPower #DeepWorkLightHeart #TraumaInformedHealing #YourFutureIsCalling

Healing Isn't All Shadow Work and Tears ... Sometimes We Laugh-Cry Through It Together

🌪️ Healing Isn’t All Shadow Work and Tears… Sometimes We Laugh-Cry Through It Together Let’s be honest: Working with systemic trauma, family constellations, and self-sabotage sounds heavy, right? Like, “should I bring tissues and cancel my plans for the week?” heavy. But here’s the thing… I make the deep stuff digestible. I bring light to the dark, and yeah—sometimes that light is shaped like a wildly inappropriate meme. 😂 (If you know, you know.) I believe healing is sacred—but that doesn’t mean it has to be serious 24/7. We can unpack ancestral grief AND laugh about your latest situationship spiral. We can name your sabotage pattern AND drop a fire emoji when you finally say what you really want. We can hold reverence for your lineage AND share dark humor like it’s a love language. 💫 What makes working with me different? I’m a soul detective with a side of sass. I’ll help you uncover the invisible threads holding you back… but I’ll also remind you you’re a whole damn miracle. I bring: ✨ Emotional depth with zero judgment ✨ Gut-punch clarity + loving truth bombs ✨ Humor that makes the shadows feel human ✨ A safe space where you don’t have to perform “healing” Clients often tell me things like: 💬 “I’ve never felt so seen—and I didn’t expect to laugh this much.” 💬 “I came in afraid it would be heavy, but you made it feel like home.” 💬 “It was like having a conversation with my higher self… but cooler.” If you’re tired of surface-level advice and want to heal at the roots—while feeling human, hilarious, and fully held— I’m your girl. Let’s turn your patterns into power. (And yes, I’ll probably send you memes that call out your shadow with love.) #HealingWithHumor #FamilyConstellations #SelfSabotageNoMore #SoulDetective #SystemicTraumaHealing #DeepAndPlayful #LaughCryRepeat #DarkHumorHealsToo

What if Your Struggles Aren't Just Yours?

✨ What If Your Struggles Aren’t Just Yours? ✨ Recurring Themes That Keep Showing Up in My Practice (And What They're Rooted In) Every week, I sit with clients who come to me with unique stories—but the themes they bring are strikingly similar. Whether they’re entrepreneurs, healers, mothers, artists, or simply humans doing their best...the deeper I listen, the clearer the patterns become. Here are some of the most common struggles I’m seeing right now: 🔹 “Why do I keep sabotaging things just as they’re going well?” 🔹 “I can’t seem to move forward, even though I’ve done so much work already.” 🔹 “I’m stuck in this loop with my partner/parent/child and don’t know how to get out.” 🔹 “No matter what I do, I can’t shake this heaviness/anxiety/fear.” 🔹 “It’s like I’m living someone else’s life and I don’t know who I really am.” At first glance, these seem like mindset issues. But they’re not. They’re not just about willpower or “thinking positive.” They’re symptoms of deeper, inherited stories. They’re the echoes of unresolved trauma, passed down and silently running the show. They’re the whispers of loyalty to your family system—often unconscious and always powerful. 🔍 What these all have in common? They’re rooted in systemic trauma and unconscious loyalty— - often to pain, struggle, or patterns that were never yours to begin with. And here’s where my unique gift comes in. I’m a detective of the soul. 🕵️‍♀️ I uncover the hidden patterns, inherited burdens, and tangled loyalties that most people—and even most professionals—can’t see. This is deep work. And there are few who can navigate it the way I do. Through the lens of Family Constellations, we see that you may be: Holding the grief of a grandmother you never met. Repeating a pattern of abandonment or loss because belonging to your family system required it. Sabotaging success because someone in your lineage suffered when they succeeded. Staying small because guilt, fear, or trauma is tangled in your expansion. 💫 This is my passion: To reconnect you with your soul. To help you untangle from what’s not yours. To heal broken connections—between you and your inner truth, your lineage, and the life that’s waiting for you. You don’t need to carry what isn’t yours. You can honor the past without repeating it. You can untangle from ancestral pain and finally live as yourself. If these themes resonate with you, it’s not a coincidence. It’s a sign your soul is ready to stop surviving and start remembering who you really are. And I’m here for that part of your journey. Let’s do the deeper work. ✨ Believe Breathe Transform Collitalks Love and soul hugs #FamilyConstellations #SoulHealing #SelfSabotage #SystemicTrauma #AncestralHealing #HealingJourney #UnconsciousLoyalty #BreakTheCycle #TransformThePattern #ReconnectToYourself

The 3 Archetypes of Self - Sabotage I See in My Work

💫 The 3 Archetypes of Self-Sabotage I See in My Work (And how healing your system changes everything) After working with hundreds of clients in systemic trauma and family constellations, I’ve noticed that most people who come to me fall into one of these three archetypes. Each is shaped by hidden loyalties, unhealed family dynamics, and deep, often unconscious patterns. See which one feels familiar to you... 🌀 1. The Overgiver This is the one who does everything for everyone else. They’re always available. Always helpful. And always exhausted. Deep down, they believe love must be earned through self-sacrifice. Their nervous system has linked receiving with guilt or danger. What’s underneath? A broken maternal bond or an unconscious loyalty to a woman in the lineage who had no choice but to abandon herself. What we do: We work to restore her place, see her sacrifice, and give the client permission to step out of the pattern. The transformation? They finally set boundaries — and feel safe doing it. 🧨 2. The Achiever Who Freezes These are high-functioning, visionary people who get to the edge of expansion… and then stop. They dream big, take a few steps… and sabotage, procrastinate, or disappear. They blame discipline. But it’s not discipline. It’s protection. What’s underneath? An ancestral link to someone who was punished for success or visibility. Or a loyalty to a parent who never got the chance to “become.” What we do: We untangle the loyalty, give voice to the fear, and anchor their success in belonging instead of betrayal. The result? They stop apologizing for wanting more — and actually go get it. 🌫 3. The Disconnected Dreamer They’ve done the work. Read the books. Been in the healing space for years. But they still feel a strange numbness — like they’re living one step removed from their real life. They don’t feel fully here. What’s underneath? Early developmental trauma or a disconnection from their own birth story, family field, or identity. Sometimes they are entangled with someone who was excluded or “forgotten” in the system. What we do: We bring that excluded one back into the field. We call the soul fully in. And the client begins to feel safe in their body, their voice, and their desires — often for the first time. ✨ This is the work I do. Not just fixing behavior — but healing at the root. Reclaiming your place in your lineage. Breaking the contract with suffering. And finally becoming the version of you that’s been waiting to be lived. #SystemicTraumaHealing #FamilyConstellations #SelfSabotageRecovery #EmotionalAlchemy #YourGiftIsInsideYourWound #TransformTheLimitedVersionOfYou #SubconsciousHealing #AncestralHealing

Here's Exactly What I Would Do if I Wanted to Stop Sabotaging the Very Thing I Say I Want

💫 Here’s exactly what I would do if I wanted to stop sabotaging the very thing I say I want… I wouldn’t try to fix it. I wouldn’t start with a vision board, a new morning routine, or another mindset podcast. I wouldn’t “push through” or “try harder.” Here’s exactly what I’d do instead: I’d get radically honest about the pattern — - not just what’s happening, but when it happens, and what it protects me from. (Even sabotage serves someone in your lineage.) I’d map the system - - who am I still trying to stay loyal to? Who in my family lost something I’m afraid to have? I’d feel into the broken connection. Because the part of me that’s blocking success is often still entangled in someone else’s pain, grief, or silence. I’d use constellation work to give that story a place to land — - and to begin restoring right relationship with myself and my system. I’d stop identifying with the sabotage. It’s not who I am — it’s what I learned to do to stay safe and loved. 💥 This is what most people miss. They try to change the outcome without shifting the origin. They try to be seen… without first belonging to themselves. ✨ But when the root is witnessed, ✨ when the nervous system is no longer in defense, ✨ when the broken bond is healed… what once felt impossible becomes inevitable. That’s where we begin. Believe Breathe Transform Collitalks Love and soul hugs #SelfSabotageHealing #SystemicTrauma #FamilyConstellations #YourGiftIsInsideYourWound #TransformTheLimitedVersionOfYou #EmotionalAlchemy #RootCauseWork #TraumaInformedCoaching