Showing posts with label Affairs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Affairs. Show all posts

Monday, January 26, 2015

8 Reasons A Real Man Would Never Cheat On Someone He Truly Loves


8 Reasons A Real Man Would Never Cheat On Someone He Truly Loves
Paul Hudson
So many boys, so few real men.
I’m rather pissed off at all you stupid boys, parading about like actual men. In fact, you recently cost me a potentially promising relationship. Because you’ve managed to cheat on so many women and break their trust, there seem to be very few women left who are willing to trust another man.
I have never before cheated on a woman in my life, nor will I ever do so. Unfortunately, very few women seem to believe me. I’m sure I’m not the only man who has come across a similar problem.
I’m certain that plenty of great guys have had to carry the baggage some other douchebag left behind. When you break a woman’s trust, you will never get it back. I really mean never. Sadly, you’re also ruining it for the next guy.
By cheating on a woman, you are screwing her over for the long run – she’ll likely be unable to trust another man for years to follow. Real men don’t cheat. Here’s why:

Real men are emotionally stable.

We usually hear about women having trouble controlling their emotions. Truth be told, men are much worse. While women have the intelligence to share their feelings and discuss their problems (most of the time), men like to keep it bottled up.
Until, of course, they can’t take it any longer and explode. When something goes wrong in a relationship, women may very well cry, they may complain, they may throw tantrums or give you the silent treatment, but men – weak men – pretend like they feel nothing.
Once their cup flows over, they look for whatever release they can. They drink. They smoke. They f*ck. Unfortunately, since they aren’t on talking terms with their woman, they f*ck whatever they can find. Real men deal with their emotions appropriately.

Real men have enough willpower to keep it in their pants.

I’m sorry to have to tell you this gentlemen, but because you are men you are going to want to sleep with every beautiful woman who crosses your path. Literally, every single one.
If you’re a real man, however, you won’t risk screwing up what you have for a brief few minutes in the sack with a woman you more than likely won’t have chemistry with. If you really want sex that badly then why not sleep with the woman who loves you?
If the sex bores you, then do something to make it more exciting. It takes two to tango – if she won’t bring the whipped cream then it’s up to you to do so.

Real men don’t date women they don’t love or don’t believe they can one day love.

Obviously, we all date people we aren’t yet certain we will fall for — if love at first sight exists, it’s rarely the case. However, many will date someone they don’t especially care about simply for convenience.
Why go out to find tail when you can have it delivered? Real men understand that women aren’t objects and therefore don’t use them simply to satisfy their own needs. When they know they don’t love a woman then they cut things off instead of continuing to lead them on.

Real men are respectful.

They treat people with respect when respect is due… especially when it comes to the women they’re dating. Cheating is lying; it’s breaking trust and it proves that you care little about your partner as a lover, friend and as a human being.
To cheat is to act as if you’re better than she is and the fact is that you aren’t. Break her trust and you will never really get her back. I had to learn this the hard way.

Real men don’t need to add notches to their belts simply to make themselves feel like men.

Real men know that they’re real men. They can feel it with every step they take – and more often than not it shows. It shows in their demeanor and in their actions. Too many “men” these days believe it’s laudable to sleep with as many women as possible – as if it were some sort of game, and women are collectables of sorts.
Women aren’t objects, and this game that you’re playing is called life. If you get caught cheating and the stakes are high enough then you can ruin your life.

Real men would never hurt the woman they love.

To be fair, real men would never hurt any woman, but especially not the woman they understand as being an extension of themselves. Real men love and care for themselves as well as those who are closest to them.
If you are lucky enough to have found a woman to love and are luckier still to have her love you back, then do everything in your power to keep her smiling. There is nothing worse in the world than losing a person you love. Mistakes are mistakes… but they aren’t always forgivable.

Real men know what’s important in life – and it’s not another piece of ass.

Proper men are too busy living the life of their dreams to bother with excess. They are working on attaining all that it is that they want in life, but more importantly still, they understand what it is that they really want.
As men, we often want more than is good for us. Only when we get what we thought we wanted do we come to realize the error of our ways. I will tell you right now that there should only be one woman for you.
That one woman who will love you for your entire life is all that really matters. The rest you won’t even remember.

Real men have the guts to break up with a woman.

If you plan on cheating on her then you clearly don’t want to be with her. Grow a pair and break things off. You’re clearly going to do it sooner or later.
Rip that bandaid off and get it over with. Be a real man and not a quivering coward.


Friday, January 23, 2015

Why Affairs Happen


Understanding Affairs and Why They Happen By James Earl
Affairs are like hand grenades under relationships.
When a couple asks me to help them repair the damage, I usually offer them some plain facts first.
• In the UK, about 50% of long term relationships end in separation or divorce. (Most people have heard that statistic). But more surprisingly:
• The estimated incidence of infidelity of one or both partners in long term relationships isover 50%, according to one reputable UK source.
If this latter figure is right, infidelity is much more common that normally acknowledged.
This fact can sometimes help a couple understand that the crisis they are experiencing is part-and-parcel of many, if not most, normal relationships – not so-called failed ones. And thatthousands of people have trodden this ground before and have managed to get back on track, together.
John and Julie, who I saw recently, are a good case in point. John asked me, ‘doesn’t it make you depressed how bad humans are at keeping their promises?’ I replied, ‘you can look at it that way if you want. But how
about considering how impressive it is that we struggle with really,really difficult ideals despite our weaknesses, and keep on trying?’
Is marriage a ‘difficult ideal?’ Well, experience tells us it is. We ask ONE person to be our best friend, to be our business partner (most couples share the biggest financial commitment of their life in property), to be a co-parent in raising children, to be the centre of our community circle: and then also to be our lover. That is one incredible demand: difficult to ask, and difficult to deliver.
Most couples find, after the first five years – though the honeymoon phase varies enormously – that the relationship settles down to a comfortable normal life offering warmth, security and a feeling of home (the sort of experience we last had when we were kids, if we were lucky). At the same time, we may start complaining that despite the feeling of love and stability, desire has started to diminish, and that the intimate side of things is not exactly ‘hot’. In fact, it may be quite difficult to see your best friend/business partner/co-parent as a lover at all: or perhaps you become aware that they aren’t seeing you like that any more.
Either way, it isn’t really the diminishing of sex that is the issue (that’s just a symptom): it is more the loss of a side of oneself that the other person once brought out, and now seems swept aside by everyday life.
Julie said: ‘the thing is, I still love John.’ He snapped back, ‘how come you did what you did if you still love me?’ She said, ‘I think I just felt re-connected again with some part of me I’d forgotten.’ ‘You mean, sex?’
‘No, not sex, just a sense of youth, difference, excitement, unpredictability.’
It is worth trying to understand why affairs happen, if you are going to recover from them, or to avoid them. The person that strays rarely does it for (just) sex. Nor do they do it in the hope of a new relationship. It is usually down to a lost sense of self that can happen even inloving marriages. A lost sense of self that often another – even random – person can accidentally reawaken in you. (I believe Julie when she says he still loves John. The affair was not to do with her loving John. It was about another side of herself that the marriage had inadvertently crowded out.)
We all want stable marriages, yet complain about them being boring or routine. This is a built-in paradox: security versus excitement, or love versus desire, if you like.
I work with couples all the time who ask me how they can avoid the hand grenade of an affair.The best general advice I can give is to realize that, alongside stability and certainty, we all crave excitement, change, individuality, difference and growth.To achieve this, the most successful couples let the other person develop as an individual, not just as a half of a couple. It means a degree of unpredictability, and even risk, to allow your partner their own space to grow as themselves. But it can be our best security, in the long term.
You might expect a relationship counselor to say ‘it’s good to be close’. I would suggest: ‘it’s even better to make space for each other.’