I literally controlled the ice that night. Jumping with uncanny ease, I seemed to jump to heights never reached before and with full turns of 3 rotations. I made the jumps that were destined for the late - night sports highlight reel. It was the Olympic figure skating championships and I was to bring home the gold for our team and our country, no one could take our team to victory but me. As I skated to the curtain I felt as though the world was watching. I would place my name in ice rink greatness. I felt as though I touched the “ Zone”… no that’s wrong…I owned the “ZONE”.
It was short lived to be sure. My first blade stroke past the curtain and the sound of my name being announced would label “ my victory” as merely a fluke, a slight brush with greatness. Desperately trying to recount the days routine, what did I eat?…how much sleep did I get the night before?…what was I wearing?…seemingly nothing would return me to that place and time, on a night I was capable of feats mere mortals could only watch and witness.
Since that day I can remember a handful of occasion where the feeling returned, be it ever so brief and rare. Not all were sports related. It appeared to be non selective occurring maybe at a business presentation, community function, or at a time of crisis. The feeling of complete comprehension, and total control of my destiny and surroundings…a focus or drive unmatched by those around me. It’s a resource that I can’t seem to tap at will. Is it always within me?…do I somehow trigger it’s surfacing by an event or an emotion? Is it mental, physical, or perhaps genetic?
All I know is that I want it BACK!
Turning a Wound into a Gift
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