Dropping Rigid Expectations

 

Find Your Glimmers

Deb Dana in her book “The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy” uses the term “triggers” to describe experiences that make you feel antsy and withdrawn, and “glimmers” to describe experiences that make you feel safe and connected.

“Trauma reshapes our system so that we are more prone to pathways of protection than pathways of connection.” This keeps us in a survival state instead of a thriving state.

It is very important to be able to recognize both triggers and glimmers in your daily life to answer the essential question about your reactions:

“What brought me here?”

”What is the story I'm telling myself now?”

We can cultivate glimmers in our hearts and homes through connection, coregulation, consciousness, curiosity, compassion, clarity & creativity.

Think of nature, music, lighting, smells, breathing, movement, touch, foods, sensations, emotions, and everything and anything to bring us back to rest ~> connection and safety.

“Well-being is not simply the absence of problems, but also the presence of strengths,” Dana writes.

Our survival means understanding the good and the bad. It’s not enough to prevent cues of danger. We also have to activate cues of safety, i.e., our glimmers.

Let us know what your glimmers are!

With love,

Lelia.

Staying Hopeful

 

How Do You Manage YOUR Emotional Reactions?

 

Do You Trust Yourself?

 

Believe in Yourself

 What does it take to be mentally attractive? People who respect themselves and are happy on their own exude confidence effortlessly. When we love ourselves, we don’t spend our time second-guessing what others are thinking about us. 

We use our time working on getting what we want out of life. So taking care of our needs and addressing recurring negative thoughts alleviates the need to go to others for their opinions. Mental attractiveness also involves communicating well and respecting other people’s needs.

Of course, we want to take time to listen to others. Let them know we care about them. Honesty, respect, discussing our hopes, dreams, and fears can strengthen our connection with another person.

~Collitalks

Just Say NO