Why Change Patterns That Are Not Working

If patterns are behind every thought that we have, every decision that we make and every action that we take, then they must also be behind every problem that we have. In fact, we can say that problematic patterns are the main source of the problems we have. Therefore, to clear problems, patterns must be changed. Ready for change?

Do You Know Your False Master?

When patterns are at work, they replace the process of conscious thinking and decision-making. We all have countless fixed routes that are formed by our patterns. All of the routes form a web-like network. Particular information will go through certain fixed routes according to its nature. All of the information will find its route and will be processed by all of the patterns on this route. This whole network is the ‘false master’. It is behind all of the decisions and judgments we make and all of the actions that we take. Do you know your false master?

Patterns

Isn't it great when you realize that all patterns are not bad. Rather they are a form of behaviour and behaviours can be changed. It is a matter of working with the structure. Today while revisiting some amazing learnings that I have experienced over many years I experienced even more learning which lead to insights and moments of beyond wow. I am so excited to be soon sharing with you some of these insights so that you too can choose to experience  the more that is yet to be revealed.

Have you ever wondered how beliefs are moved forward?

How Beliefs are forwarded is they set out to prove what they assume rather than to explore and examine. They set out to confirm and verify.

Collitalks … coming soon

The first conversation YOU need to change is the one YOU have with yourself. 

~Collitalks … coming soon 

What I learnt when I Stopped Giving Myself Away

What I Learned when I Stopped Giving Myself Away~ Julie Barr

I spent most of my life giving myself away.

Here’s why that didn’t work.

I took care of others in the hopes that it would be returned in an equal or similar way. I would easily give up my body to men, because I thought sex was equivalent to love. In friendships, I used money to buy the loyalty of others. At the office, I would spend hours and hours away from home, giving others my ideas in the hopes that they would like me.

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Two failed marriages, disastrous friendships and arguments with family members were a few of the symptoms that something was not right in my life. I looked outside myself for reasons why I was so angry and negative about every experience. If I wanted to be happy and live a joyful life, I had to stop making excuses and take responsibility for my life.

Soul searching and self-improvement became my hobby. I read books, went to classes and made an effort to get out of my comfort zone to meet new people and try new things. It sounds easy, but the change did not happen overnight. There were therapists, healers, friends and others along the way that helped me understand what unconditional love really means.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Power of “No”: I spent six years in an unhappy marriage because I was afraid to say no. I look back at how many times I said yes to people and events just because I did not want to disappoint them. I never considered the lack of joy or happiness I would create for myself; I was only worried about pleasing the other person.

2. Quality over Quantity: For a long time I defined my worth by the size of my house, my car and my clothes. I could hide my fears and loneliness behind the labels and the expensive vacations. I thought people would only love me for my salary and corporate career. I never considered that I had anything to offer other than things.

3. Let Go: There was a time in my life that I believed it was my job to lift people up and take care of them while sacrificing my own health and happiness. To break free of this pattern I had to let go of several friendships and establish boundaries about what I was willing to accept.

4. Health as a priority: Pain and mild illness were a common thing in my life. It seemed as though I had a cold or bronchitis every three weeks. I took so many supplements and antibiotics that my hair started falling out. My back and shoulders were often sore and painful from carrying the weight of everyone’s problems in my body. When I developed pneumonia I decided that I was not going to allow illness to take over my life any longer.

The majority of my new relationships are based on common interests and similar history. We value the spirit and the soul of one another rather than the things we possess.

I forgive myself when I fall back into the old patterns. There are times that I still say “yes,” when I really want to say “no,” but it’s way less often than before. Life happens and I realize that the mistakes I make are just lessons that become wisdom in this life.

Author: Julie Barr

Apprentice Editor: Kari Miller / Editor: Nicole Cameron

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DATE A GIRL WITHOUT A MOTHER

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DATE A GIRL WITHOUT A MOTHER

~Jenna Rose Lowthert

She’ll be a different kind of girl. She has experienced loss and knows what it feels like to be left, even if it was unintentionally. Every day her heart will be hurting, even if she doesn’t show it. Comfort her.

She will act tough, she will pretend she doesn’t have emotions. She does. They’re tucked away deep down inside her broken heart. Let her know she is meant to be loved and you want to love her.

Each and every time you mention your mother she will cringed, not at the thought of her, but at the thought of her own mother not being around anymore. She will feel a sense of embarrassment when someone asks her about her parents. It is one of the hardest things in the world to have to explain to somebody why and how you are a motherless daughter.

Holidays will always be hard for her, after all the most important person in her world is no longer there. Do something to honor and celebrate her mother.

She will wish with all her might that you got to meet her mother before she died, but she knows that is not a possibility. She constantly wonders if her mother would like you, would she approve of you? Get to know her mother through her. Ask questions. Don’t be afraid of bringing up what you think may harm her heart even more. It won’t. She loves to talk about her mother. She wants you to know every little detail, but she probably would never tell you that on her own. Talk to her, ask her what her mother was like, what her mother loved to do, what her favorite food was, what song she liked, what she learned from her, etc. These questions will open her up to you, even if it’s only a tiny bit. Remind her every day that she is beautiful and she was raised by a queen.

She will cry a lot, but you won’t know it when she does. Let her know it’s okay and let her know that you want to be the shoulder she cries on. Let her know you want to be the one to make her smile through all the tears.

She’ll want to take a lot of pictures, memories are gold to her. She knows what it’s like to have amazing memories ripped from under her feet, and she is more than thankful for the pictures she has taken to keep those memories alive.

She will hide, she will not accept your love right away and it will take her a while to realize she is more than deserving of it.  She will hate the fact that she feels this way, remember she can’t help it.

She will be very independent, there will be a lot of things she won’t need you for, be there for her anyway, but always give her space. She values her solitude but don’t ever be offended by it. Take the time to understand why she likes to be alone.

She is not broken, although it may seem she is, so please don’t try to fix her. She is just finding her way in this world without her mother’s guidance.  She will guard her heart more than she ever has before, and you’ll have to try very hard to climb her walls, but when you eventually get to the other side, it will all be worth it, because she will love you with everything she has left in her.

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